kate — [the mark and cheryl show]

2.27.01

So, on the 15th, Kathy and I go to dinner. She kisses me. I sleep over. Just sleep, [or in my case, a lack of it], but its enough. Its more than enough actually, cause that intimacy could sustain me more than any food I could ever eat. We were closer than we've ever been. She finally admits to herself and me, what Ive always thought/hoped...There *is* something different about the bond between us that we dont get when we are with other people...

"I couldn't have pictured a better night either. Everything is so easy with you, it amazes me."

"I miss you more than you know."

"Sorry to have bothered you at work, but I wanted to hear your voice at least once this afternoon."

The best was the Valentine's Day card she gave me on 2.15.01:

"I don't know where we are headed with this, but I must admit that you've truly added something to my life that hasn't been there for a long time. Thank you for being so wonderful."

So, on the 26th, kate tells me that we need to go back to being friends, because "Us" would never be accepted by the important people in her life...her friends and her family. Basically, the craziness that went on in law school has made me a psycho in their eyes, and they want to protect her. Considering what went on, I completely understand that reaction. I dont think I mentioned that, if we were able to forgive each other, they would learn to in time as well. I mean, Julie Riccio knew about us then and now, and she was supportive of it, but kate just didnt want to face it, i guess. And I cant blame her for that, as much as I want to. I hurt her so bad that i dont have words to explain how bad that makes me feel. It was my fault for acting so childish and immature, regardless of how noble my intentions were at the time.

I wish I could be mad at her for not having the balls to face it or for using it as en excuse, but I cant...Cause Im the same way in reverse...Ive never been able to face up to it *not* happening...which is what i have to do now. [I am well aware that this diary makes it harder for that to happen...but I truly believe I cannot go cold-turkey on this. it would kill me. And I dont want to ever forget how horrible I feel. Cause of course the pain will dissipate to some degree. But I never want to forget how bad I feel, apparently *solely* because of how bad I made someone else feel.]

I told her I couldnt deal with the "friends thing" last night. It was easier in the past, when I didnt *know* that she had the feelings I hoped she had. But now, knowing that I wanted her, and she wanted me...and in a way that we didnt want other people...a way special to us. And we still wouldnt be together?? That's too much for me to deal with. Can there be anything in life less fair than that??? So I told her goodbye and hung up. I hope no one ever has to have that feeling of helplessness that comes when you have to say goodbye to the one thing...

But I dont mean it. Im not ready...i want to hear from her...I dont care how for what reason. But I have to make it easier on her. Which makes me pissed off. Im crushed because she's afraid, and Im *still* trying to make it easy on her? What an idiot I am, and someone reeely needs to slap me. Im drunk on my hurt, and it makes me want to vomit.

pick a fight [goldfinger]

I can't be happy without you
You can't be happy without me
Still you always wanna pick a fight now
You say it's written in the stars
Some psychic read it in my cards
Still you always wanna pick a fight with me

You say that I'm the only one
The one you're looking for
Try and keep a straight face when you laugh
You talk to me like I'm a saint
But all your friends just say
We have been so over for some time

And I know that you had the best intentions for me
I know that what you're saying is goodbye

I can't be happy without you
You can't be happy without me
Still you always wanna pick a fight now
You say it's written in the stars
Some psychic read it in my cards
Still you always wanna pick a fight with me

You say you changed your mind again
You don't know how you feel
"Give me some more time" is what you say
You wanna use me like a toy
That you get bored with
Now you wanna store me far away???

And I know that you had the best intentions for me
I know that what you're saying is goodbye...goodbye

I can't be happy without you
You can't be happy without me
Still you always wanna pick a fight now
You say it's written in the stars
Some psychic read it in my cards
Still you always wanna pick a fight with me

You always say what you don't mean
You always say the things that hurt me
Why do you pick a fight with me?
You always say what you don't mean
You always say the things that hurt me
Why do you pick a fight
You always pick a fight with me

So, what does this mean for me? Part of me understands completely. Im just as afraid as she is that this wouldnt work out. Ive lived years of my life wanting Us because, I truly believe, that its what is in the cards for me...what would make me Happy. If it were to fail, I would be devastated. But I know I feel worse now, knowing that there was never a chance that it might have worked.

But, I have to admit. I wonder. What was it that changed so quickly? How could she go from talking to me on the phone monday night...only 8 days ago...telling me that she wanted me to come down there and spend the night with her. How could it change so quickly to this?

Of course, the first, the *male* response, is that there is another person that she's interested in. This wouldnt be surprising at all. She did mention not one but *two* guys...marC and marK. She mentioned that marC was giving her grief because he wouldnt leave her alone when she was so busy at the end of the week [of course, my paranoid mind thinks, "was that an excuse too?"]. But the other marK, who she never mentioned aside from the first time they met in hoboken...what was his role, if any? Maybe she spent time with him between last monday and Black Monday that impacted what she felt for me. maybe one of these guys would be easier? I just hope that if that was involved, she didnt hide it from me. Because then she would have been lying to me, and that would make me feel worse.

On Tuesday, my birthday, she mentioned that she thought I was being possessive because of wanting her to stay over that next night when she was supposed to come to Nutley. How unfair was it for that to be possessive, when she said the same thing to me the day before? It makes me think I was fighting a battle I never had a chance to win. That she would have found something to use against me. Is it possible that I still came on too strong? That the flowers made her uncomfortable? Hell, I did every in my power to give her the time she needed, and it still was too much? I just couldnt win, could i...

counting the days [goldfinger]

So here I go and there you went...again
Just another stupid thing that I done wrong.
Locked up in my head, knocked down, beaten, left for dead
With all those brilliant things I should have said.
I gotta get away, and find something to do
Cause everything I hear, everything I see, reminds me of you.

Still counting the days I've been without you 1, 2, 3, 4...
Still counting the days that you've been gone.

Day one, was no fun.
Day two, i hated you.
By day three I wish you'd come right back to me.
Day four, five and six, well I guess you just don't give a shit.
Day seven, this is hell. this is hell.

I gotta get away, and find something to do.
But everything I hear, everything I see, reminds me of you.
Still counting the days I've been without you 1, 2, 3, 4...
Still counting the days that you've been gone.
Still counting the days since you left me. 1,2,3,4...
Still counting the days since you've been gone.

A thousand things I wanna say to you, but it's too late now.
A thousand things I wanna say...
A thousand things I wanna say to you, but it's too late now.
A thousand things I wanna say...

Still counting the days I've been without you.
Still counting the days that you've been gone.
Still counting the days I've been without you 1, 2, 3, 4...
Still counting the days that you've been gone.

I *have* to believe that she was being honest with me. That she simply couldnt understand a way that we could be together and have "Us" be accepted by her family and friends. But, cmon, if it was meant to be, and she reeely wanted it to be, wouldnt her friends and family see that, and come to accept it over time? Once I proved to them, and most importantly to her, that I wouldnt hurt her like that? I couldnt say this last night though, because she probably would have just gotten angry. That wouldnt have served any purpose. I want her to remember me the way I think of her, and always *will* think of her-- as someone who meant more than anything in the world.

But I dont feel that's what gunna happen....that she'll remember be that way. Like I said, i wouldnt be surprised if she already has a guy around to take her mind off of it, if it was ever going to be on it in the first place.

Which gets me back to the original point. I just dont understand, and she hasnt been able to explain to me, what changed. How could it look sooo good one week, and then less than 7 days later, change to the exact opposite? How come *I* dont get these visions? These moments of clarity when my course ahead is laid out. Im not saying this was easy on her. I truly believe [have to believe] that it wasn't. But if I could just see what she sees that is so impossible to overcome, or scary to face...maybe I couldn accept it easier.

"I don't know where we are headed with this, but I must admit that you've truly added something to my life that hasn't been there for a long time. Thank you for being so wonderful."

How can she throw that away so easily? That is a power I need to survive.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

2.28.01

Why did she call me? She sent me a nice and harsh email in response to this diary. Cold, but thats what she obviously thought was needed to get the point across. [Aside...the point was always clear..."move on." Its the reasons for having to do that I am wrestling with]. But then she called to soften the blow? Why does she still care?

But she doesnt want me to keep writing. Because she'll get upset and scared.

Scared. She is scared of me? How horrible does that make me feel? I cant believe I can feel even worse than I already do. But if it makes her suffer...my *words* make her suffer...I do. I feel even worse. How horrible of a person must I be? The words are the only thing I have left between us, and now even that is wrong. How long til I accept that everything I believed in life is wrong?

But maybe I shouldnt feel horrible? Isnt she the one trying to ignore Us? Trying to compensate for the things we feel by turning away from them? Even worse, possibly[probably] turning to someone else? [Does The Next Mark know what he is getting into? But maybe [and this would be worse for me I think], it will be easier for her when it means less.

And I think Im subconsciously trying to make it *easier* on her. The more I annoy her, the sooner she moves to someone else to get rid of me [if she hasnt already], right? Hey, she should thank me for being so ridiculous. Maybe it will let her see that what she thought I was isnt reeely what I am underneath. If doing that makes it easier on her, then Ill pay her game. [Here I go again, trying to make it easier on her, even now when doing so hurts me more. It always comes back to the same thing...making her feel better. What an idiot I am]

I watched the last Temptation Island tonight. I should explain what that is, cause in five years, Im probably not gunna remember it. Three couples go to an island. They are separated from their partners and they get to spend two weeks with a bunch of temptors and temptresses of the opposite sex. Anything goes, and these slimy people, who had to be mentally deficient to think this would have been a good experience in the first place, get to have two weeks of hedonism. The point is, all three of these couples had at least one person, either the man or the woman, who hooked up with somebody, who *bonded* with someone.

At the end of the show, at the end of the trip, they bring the couples back together, and have them each decide whether they want to continue the relationship, or to move on. Maybe it was the editing, maybe it was the Train Wreck Effect, but it sur looked like each one of these relationships was doomed. At the very least, some perverse law of averages had to lead to one broken relationship. [Aside from eating me up, it made for great television]

But all three of the couples stayed together. Even in the face of these amazing temptations, even in the face of their *desire* to fall prey to these temptations, they stayed together. It makes me sick. Normally, it would strike me as some grand affirmation about the Power of Love [sing it Huey], but today...it makes me sick.

What makes these idiots so lucky? How come their balls came up in the Happiness Lottery, and mine didnt? Yeah, Im feeling sorry for myself. Yeah, maybe I have to play the game longer and Ill increase my chance of "winning" that lottery. But optimism, for as strong as an emotion as it might be, aint got nuthin' on fear. Fear that, even if I play every day for the rest of my life, my numbers wont come up. Fear that she'll win the lottery by playing some other guy's numbers. Its crippling, but I dont know how to fight it.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

3.1.01

Here are some of the things that remind me of her...

Bob Mould
Jonatha Brooke
That damn "falling even more in love with you" line...
"Prettiest Eyes" [does she have any idea how huge this was? The fact that even *knew* who the Beautiful South was in the first place...Ive never met a girl, aside from my friends who follow the band, that knew the BS. Its too much. I could never say this to Her, for fear of scaring her, but when I was in college, I had two songs that I would want as my wedding song, regardless of the girl ended up being: Be My Number Two by joe jackson, and this one.] I can scratch this one off now...
the beach

nothing left to say [dance hall crashers]
you sigh and say goodbye and turn while i scratch out my eyes
what have a i done this time...nevermind last year
never wanted to be all of the things i'm sure are me.
finally i can see you'retoo good for this
and i know i'm too late cause there's already nothing left to say

if you only knew how often i thought of you and how you would feel
you would smile for sure
but i never reely ever wanted it to come to this,
cause the final chapter i never realized was truly the end
all i was trying to do was to have and not hurt you
couldnt bear to lose my best friend again

as you walk away, please believe me when i say that it meant everything to me too
and i know i'm too late cause there's already nothing left to say
there's reeely nothing left to say

This last one is the worst. How am i ever supposed to go to the beach and not hear, smell, feel her there? Amazing, cause we never even went together. But it was the place I ran to before, when I was overwhelmed by her presence. All I needed to make me happy was a trip to the beach...even just to stand on the dune and hear the waves...and I felt her with me. Now, to go would just be to torture myself. Please dont let this be ruined too.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

3.2.01

I went out to dinner last night with Missy, Ricardo, and some mutual friends. It was so key to see missy and just get a big hug. I didnt have to say anything, cause she knew how bad I felt. So we had some good sangria, some tasty portuguese food, and some laughs. But its so hard not to contact her when I get a little tipsy. And the fact that I had nothing but Feel Sorry For Myself music in my car made it even harder.

What does she turn to if she gets like this? Does she just fill her mind and body with other guys to get past it? [The mental picture I just got of where she might be right now [Saturday, 3.3.01, 3:22 am] is not a pleasant one. How come the guy is always so much better looking than me in these visions?] How self-promoting of me to even assume that she still cares now. Its been days.

wont be the same [dance hall crashers]
its morning two and you havent called me
its like a thorn buring in my side
open the blinds but something is different
cant put my finger on it
the bright clean air makes me want to hide

cause now, this is how it ends
based on promises that we'll still be friends

but i know it'll never be the same
now its all been broken
i know it'll never be the same
you know i'd still do anything for you

where is the day you used to inspire me?
where is the time i used to depend
on the relief of your anchor i thought i'd never need
now that its gone will i slip away?

so now, this is how it ends
based on promises that we'll still be friends

but i know it'll never be the same
now its all been broken
i know it'll never be the same
you know i'd still do anything for you

this is only a letter
jumbled words, no false pretense
and its not a true confession
cause you cost me much more than you'll ever guess

but im not your fallen hero
someone who came to your defense
and when its all done and over ill make it make sense

i know it'll never be the same
now its all been broken
i know it'll never be the same
you know i'd throw it all away

tonight i went to the game with ant. i had mentioned to him a few weeks ago, without naming names of course, that i was excited about the level of interest this girl i had a crush on for a long time was finally showing me. How it was almost too good to be true. But that, when she said these things about the connection between us [you remember, the one that didnt exist with other guys?], i reeely thought she was sincere. So I had to explain to him how it all fell apart. But this one just doesnt make sense without some more character development [a negative to all my writings, I always thought]. So I tried to explain what happened in the whole rel'p. [That word cant be more wrong, but I dont know what else to call it] Its amazing how hard it is to be fair to myself and her at the same time when I relate this story. But he got the gist I think.

His take on it, for as little as its worth, was that she wasnt being honest with either me or herself about what she wanted. Maybe she felt too constrained by the idea of a rel'p that actually might mean something? Maybe she just didnt have the heart to tell me that she didnt reeely have these feelings, so she pretended that she did. Once she did, though, she was caught, because she couldnt lie to him like that without it hurtinh everyone in the long run. And, of course, he dropped the "maybe she just likes having guys pay attention to her and you're not any different than some other stooges who took the bait." I told him that I guessed they were all possibilities, but that I needed to believe that she did think I was different. And not only different, but different in a good way...But its tough to get very philosophical at a hockey game, so we turned up the testosterone drip a few notches, downed our beers, and belched loudly. But Ill tell ya, it gets harder and harder to hide my emotions as I get older.

goin out [superdrag]
remember when i felt like goin' out?
remember when i had all these things to figure out?
you struck me blind.
how blind could i have been?
reason strikes again.

still i may never feel like myself again.
there's a dull ache in my side where you came in.
i blame myself.
how blind could i have been?
reason strikes again.

remember when i felt like caving in?
there's a broken bleeding body where you've been.
made up my mind.
how blind could i have been?
reason strikes again.

One thing he said reeely struck me. he said that you [i] shouldnt let the idea of Us block me from opening up other possibilities that might come along. Of course I wouldnt do that, I lied, trying at the same to count all the times Ive done just that. Mel, Meg, Cheri, even Lisa to some extent. That's four I could think of in about 3 seconds. Thats scary, Scary that, from the get go, I compared the feelings I got from these girls to the ones I got from Her. And on those horrible blind dates I went on. Were the genuinely horrible, or where they horrible because the conversation wasnt as natural, as easy, as with Her? Who's to say that I wont do it again when the next one comes along? How stupid can I be?

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

3.3.01

I am so drunk its dangerous. At soe point, approximately 10:30 am or so, I begain drinking, and I stopped at aboutr 5 pm to thwrow up. Then I drank some more. Its now 4 something abd Im feeling the need to trow up again.

This is the perfect oportunity for me to just rant on Her...just rip her to shreds for being so weak, for being such a liar, for being so cruel to me....

But I cant. Im soooooooo sorry kate. Im so sorry for being such a snivelign, wihiny idiot. I care so mucyh for you...All i wanted was to make you feel 1/millionth as good as you make me feel. And I couldnt even do that. That's failure with a capital "P.H."

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

3.5.01

keep it close to me [superdrag]
i want rock'n'roll
but, i don't want to deal with the hassle.
i know what i know but,
i don't want to feel like an asshole
it's direct, suspect,
insects have launched an invasion.
chosen, frozen,
poison in my vaccination, yeah.

i'm gonna figure out what's mine
and keep it close to me.
keep it close to me.
it's supposed to be, yeah.

let's make the most of it right now.
let's make the most of what we've got,
god only knows where it came from.
let's make the most of it right now.
why is it hard to imagine
making life worth the distraction from now on?

Where the heck is this dumping of snow that is supposed to keep me from work??? Just another big tease in my life, i guess.

But its actually a good thing. I dont want to ever feel the fear I felt when I heard that we might be snowed in. There is nothing like Snuggling with someone on a snowy day. Laying in bed, sleeping in, listening to the silence of the snow fall...Its almost as pleasurable as watching the sun come up after sleeping on the beach with someone you care about. And I love my dad alot, but it just aint the same, you know?

To think that She might be enjoying that with someone else [oh, jeez, from now on its just gunna have to be The Other Mark. The name fits literally, and figuratively for the role he or they play in our lives]. Fear is bad enough. Fear based on jealously is crippling.

forever in my dreams [teen idols]
i cant forget that night
or the argument that made you run away
i thought youd come back soon
but soon became a year and seven days

the overwhelming guilt
that its all my fault
was all my heart could take

at night you always seem so near
it sometimes feels like youre still here

your voice will never fade away
forever in my dreams
i know youre always gunna stay
forever in my dreams
youre always young with wings to fly
one place i know youll never die
forever in my dreams

So tomorrow I guess Im gunna have to go to work. At least She will too.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

3.15.01

The Ides of March. I wish I had something cool story to link to this day, but my life is rarely as spooky as I wish. Instead, I spent the night at the bar with Alastair, E, Mikey and Hope. It was good to see those guys, cause The Pit guys rarely much time together. And we talked about the usual stuff...Crazy Sue [I had forgotten that Al had hooked up with her after Mikey]...Foley [where the heck is the "my stick is gunna get hot and beat you with it" kid these days?] All the craziness of The Pit...Peck putting his hand through the chicken wire window...Drunken chants at the football and basketball games...the time Ben dogpiled Al on his birthday and smashed his chin open at The Pit Slut's house [Pam, Chrissy, Beth]...Humdaisy's new album [Friday, April 6, release party at, of course, the Rat, with, of course, Eric Simonsen playing acoustic as a filler]. LtP and Louis are on shaky ground. LtP wants to go out next week. Remind me to tell you about throwing up on Nikki this weekend. Oh yeah, I was in rare form...

sever [karate]
your eyes, they made lies true
say anything and i would believe you
cause there were demons, maybe more than a few.
so what could we do?

you cant put back together what you sever

the rain comes down
turns the shine back to rust
why does that mean you have to sever us?

someday some shit witll come round
reverse the earth, turn your breath back to dust

unless you hold on to something forever

Where the heck is this dumping of snow that is supposed to keep me from work??? Just another big tease in my life, i guess.

So tomorrow I guess Im gunna have to go to work. At least She will too. I hope.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

.18.01

I realize I still need to tell you about the Projectile Vomit story...I need more time for that.

Last night was St. Pattys Day. In a repeat of last year, I went with Tara/Matt to McGillans in Phily to meet with a bunch of Tara's work mates. [I dont even ask what my friends are doing anymore, lame-os that they are]. I was also gunna repeat last year's meeting with Melissa...which was reely the start of last year's mini-fling. I wanted to see her, but I didnt want to see her. So I made a half-hearted attempt to get in touch with her...left a message on her machine...gave her *matt's* cell phone [I left mine home cause I dont like carrying it in my pokcet]...never followed up with her. I didnt check the 2 messages that got on my cell...I assume at least one of them is from her...Maybe she's mad at me, but I dont seem to care.

Its amazing that I throw Mel away like that. The girl, for some reason, is clearly willing to take me...and I just cant do it. Part of it is the physical. She's cute...and she's certainly attractive to me...even though alot of people wouldnt think so. But mauybe that sit...Maybe I have the need for a "trophy." Maybe thats just my excuse for why I throw girls away.

Thats not the point here...im tired of anazying myself.

So we go to this party, and there's a fine looking girl there, with this meat head. And Im not kididng, the kick was like a lumpy Mr. Potato Head. And I sat there, in awe, that this reeely cute girl would be even interested in this guy. And its hard to tell if she truly was. I mean, they were talking all night long...but the few times he made any sort of move...she seemed a bit uncomfortable. [not like that cute but slutty girl sitting at the table next to us, whose lips I had to literally pull from her boyfriend because their make out session was in the way of my coat].

But, again, the point is that I was sooo bored. I couldnt want to leave there soon enough...I didnt want any part of a celebration...probably because I didnt have any interest to be with the people who i was with. I like Tara's work people, and they are all nice...but alot of the people who Ive spent some time with [stacy, carol, carol's husband whose name I of course forget] werent there. Steve was there...and some other girls that Tara works with...But I just got in that mood. No mood to be there. So I had a few beers, made almost no small talk [the poor people who tried to engage me in even the simplest of conversation...I couldnt be more curt] and just plead to someone to take me home. [Silently of course]. The best part was probably waiting in line to get in. Thats pathetic.

I have this comment thing on some regulations to get done for Murray on Tuesday morning. Aside from the fact that I wasted both Thursday and Friday procrastinating when I had little else to do [Rest assured that I used the Comment Excuse to justify why I hadnt dont anything else those two days]. So I screwed myself into having to work this afternoon. The smartest thing would have been to just drive up from Tara's to work and get it going there...but like I said...that would have been the smart thing. I always put myself into situations to fail, even partially subsconsiously. This was just another example.

I intended to work today from home, I reeely did, even if I would have wasted alot of time while I was "working" [napster is a hell of a temptation]. I didnt. I brought home a redwell full of the materials I needed on Friday. But I "conveniently" forgot to bring home the regulations themselves. I swear it wasnt intended...And its not like I even ran out of there on Friday...I just find a way to blow it for myself.

Now I need to work all day tomorrow to get it done by the deadline...I could have easily set myself up in Murray's eyes by handing it in a day early...but I wont. Aside from the belief I have deep down that I reely want to sabotage this career and force myself to find something else that I truly enjoy...I dont know what else it is. Maybe Im reely as dumb as I act...cause I make some horrible decisions. Maybe by acting that dumb, intentionally or subconsiously, Im trying to justify what I think deep down...that I dont have the instincts for this job. Im fine with the technical parts...learing the law, interpreting the law, finding holes in the law, blahblahblah. But anyone can do that if they work hard enough. [True...I dont have to work hard to do that...Im lucky, at least, that such skill comes so easily to me]. But that unlearned part...thats what separates the good lawyers from the bad. I dont think thats learned. And if it is, im not sure I want to put the energy into learning it.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

3.20.01

I stayed worked somewhat late last night, and a little bit at home after I got back, to finish the first draft of the Murray Comments. So when I finallty get to work [after waiting an hour for a haircut!] I go in there with Steve Z. and he basically says to me...you couldnt have been more wrong! I think the words were "i think you misunderstood what I wanted." Ha ha...cracked me up. God, i wish they would just fire me already.

Spent some time trying to find airfares for the trip to visit Plishka in S.F. Looks like the Memorial Day weekend might work out after all, which would be perfect cause we'd save a vacation day [this affects DeForge more than me]. Plus, its a much bigger party weekend, so we should be able to cause quite a ruckus during our few days there. I cant wait to see her...I reeely am lucky that we found each other after all these years...she's become a good friend again. Unfortunately, it has to be at the same time as I lose Her. But Kapes understands, especially as she has to decide in the near future whether to stay out there or come home with Slayton.

My dad is in the other room...and he was having one of his couginh fits. You wanna stop smoking? Spend a day with my dad, and listen to that combination sneeze-cough-wretch that he does. Its sounds like a big ol' Ouch. He cant have more than 1/8th of a lung left.

Now Im supposed to go to the Rangers/Devils game with Sentivan tomorrow at the Swamp. But with the stupid Murray Comment due on Thursday [and more work to be done before it even gets sent to the client tomorrow], its gunna be tough. This would be the first game that I actually had to miss all season.

Napster is killing me. On days when there's no hockey game, I just download right when I get home from work. How many live copies of Radiohead's "Street Spirit" do I need? [Another memorty of Her. Jeez. Its got to stop sometime, doesnt it???] So in the three hours I have between when I get home at about 8 and go to bed at about 11, I want to [1] workout, [2] play the geetar, [3] do the diary...but with Napster [and now its offshoots that Im just starting to use...which are even more addictive because you can download more file types than just MP3s]...i just sit and rot in front of this computer. no more. bed time. gotta be at work as close to 8 as possible tomorrow if I wanna make the game.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

3.21.01

When is the change gunna happen? All Im asking for is for something to happen. All Im hoping for is that something will happen that will change. I want the feeling of the wave crashing over me. The moment of blackness and disorientation when there is truly nothing in your head. Something, please, happen.

Went to the Rangers/Debbies game with Sentivan. Sat in the last possible row, but it didnt matter, because it might have been the worst game Ive ever seen. I rarely get embarassed...

Does She regret that night of Feb. 16? Like She regrets hooking up with Her ex [chris?] that one time? If She does, I mean no more in Her mind than any other loser she hooked up with. I feel so cheap, and I deserve better from Her. Please, i wanna feel the tidal wave's crash...

outside [staind]
and you bring me to my knees
all this time that i
all the times that i felt insecure
and i leave my burdens at the door

all this time that i felt like this won't end
was for you
and i taste what i could never have
it's from you
all those times that i tried
my intentions, full of pride
and i waste more time than anyone

all the times that i cried
all this wasting
it's all inside
and i feel all this pain
stuffed it down
it's back again
and i lie here in bed
all alone
i can't help what i feel
tomorrow will be okay

i'm on the outside
i'm looking in
i can see through you
see your true colors
inside you're ugly
ugly like me
i can see through you
see to the real you

...but I was embarassed at this game...4-0 Debbies...23 in a row without a win...Why do I waste my money on this? This is supposed to be the one thing that keeps my mind off of Her.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

3.24.01

She walks out of class with her boyfriend, hand in hand. He saves a place for her during class. They play in the sandbox. He walks her home from school. They dance together at the prom. He studies with her at the library. He visits her dorm room. He backpacks through Europe with her. They find an apartment together near work. He moves out. He meets her at her office for lunch breaks. He takes her to the Opera.

This is quite a long relationship, if it were one relationship. But this is the Swinger. She is a hard worker, loves her family and is good at everything she does. But there is so much wrong with her.

She has never been single, which doesn't mean that she has had a lot of boyfriends, because she could have only been involved in long-term relationships. The only gap that exists in her love life is the sweater she received from the store for Valentine's Day.

Why she does do the guy hop???

1. She's insecure

She seems to have sky-high confidence, but the truth is that she needs to have the warmth of another individual by her side [even if he's not present, then at least he's in her heart], and the security of knowing that there is someone who loves her.

If she has a wedding to attend, then she'll always have someone to be her date. If she's sick, there will always be someone to bring her soup. If she needs her television repaired, there will always be that repairman a call away.

The irony is that she may be insecure because she has never been alone. Because she has never had the chance to be on her own, she equates being single with being undesirable.

2. She's dependent

Again, since she has always had the comfort of another throughout most of her life, she has never had to be on her own. This leads to the need of being dependent on another [other than family], who will always be there for her.

3. She wants a collection

Doll collections, sticker collections... please, thats nothing compared to a certified man collection. A collection of men that she has been with, shared many times with, and most importantly, many memories with. She can talk of each ex as if she's talking about her ...dollsonly they're not locked up in some box.

4. She's a serial flirter

Serial flirters are women who flirt with guys who they dont necessarily have a romantic interest in, leading them to believe that these pour souls stand a chance. These women are merciless, and may have the same characteristics of women who swing from man to man. They are insecure, and need the comfort of feeling desired to increase their self-esteem.

Who the heck knows why? But she's nothing but trouble.

1. She is always comparing you.

2. Shes not established

Women that have never been alone are not likely to be established women. They may be lost unless theyre attached, cause they havent figured out for themselves who they are and what they want out of life.

This isnt their fault...they just havent been given the chance to think about who they are as individuals because they have always had the security of being attached. By being in a relationship, women [and men] arent forced to seek other outlets of their lives, such as personal interests, hobbies and a broader social life.

3. She won't feel threatened by breaking up with you

You have to wonder how a woman manages to find so many men that pique her interest, and so conveniently.

[reprinted from a past story...not one of my best, i know]

3.25.01

Every year Nikki, Shannon and I go out for my birthday. Im not sure why it started, but its a yearly tradition. Last year, we all got pretty shitty and I crashed on their couch. [This was the first time I had met Shannon, and Im sure the fact that I think she's adorable was an impetus for setting up another outing].

Nikki's birthday was in september, and Shannon and I teamed up to get her sloshed...By the time we tried to leave Madison's for City Bistro, her eyes were fuzzy because her head was overflowing. Somehow, she managed to hold off the four or five guys who were hitting on her, and we took her home. It was the night it rained as we walked home [god, shannon was hot all wet]. Im not sure why i decided to go home that night.

Shannon's birthday in December, subtitled "Revenge," was a tough night for all of us. I was in that off-week after Brach Eichler but before Reed Smith, and I had every intention of getting messy. I can neither confirm nor deny that my ulterior motive was to get so drunk that I could have the balls to hit on Shannon. Ultimately, it didnt matter, cause we got Shan so drunk that she puked in the bar [City Bistro again]. Once we got back to their apartment, I ate a whole bag of minicarrots. And then deposited them, orally, in the toilet after we all went to bed. I also, somehow, ended up in only my glow in the dark boxers.

So, now, we've all thrown up at least once, and they are itchin' to get back at me when my birthday rolls around. We originally were gunna go out the weekend of my birthday, but Shan was away in Mexico somewhere [damn girl's always tan]. We rescheduled for the first Friday in March, when we could all get together [95% of the reason I go to these is because of Shannon...So its no surprise Im gunna put it off ["so we can all go," of course...] unitl shannon can come.]

The girls just had it in for me from the start. Get to Nikki's at 7:30, and by 8 pm, Ive done two shots of tequila, and had two large margeritas loaded with more tequila. [Shannon may have been trying to kill me that night, but she makes a tasty drink, so its tough to be mad at her. plus, she's so darn cute!].

Dinner at Rocco's, or something like that. I had some vodka pasta, which I thought would have been a good idea, hoping the high starch content of the pasta soaking up some of the alcohol [that must be a wive's tale]. It reeely didnt matter though, cause by then I was already tipsy, and a few glasses of wine with the dinner [not sure what we had...I remember "red" if that helps] didnt help my fleeting sobriety at all.

On the way to Madison's, calling Obrien to tell him where to meet us, I aceepted that I was done, and, even better, at their complete mercy. I could hide it well at this point, but that wouldnt last long. One of the coolest effects of alcohol is that it makes you believe you are acting less drunk than you are. You thinkg you are intentionally slowing your words so you dont slur. In doing so, you slur. Its alot of fun actually.

Another shot, this time Wild Turkey, from Nikki at Madisons. Dead on revenge, supposedly, for the wild turkey shot that she got on her birthday. Shannon is laughing, as all [including drunk Mark] but Nikki remember that I had nothing to do with that Wild Turkey shot. Either way, Im a man, and I down it. It goes down surprsingly easy, unlike the Prarie Fire shot from the first Bday celebration, where I literally had to swallow a dozen times to keep it down.

Obrien shows. The night gets cloudy.

We move to another bar. I remember walking there, but I dont remember leaving Madisons. The cold likely snapped me back to temporary reality. I wasnt wearing a jacket, and it was in the 30s.

In the new bar. Sitting on the end. DJ playing typical early 90s alterna-pop. Cure [Just Like Heaven]. New Order [Bizarre Love Triangle, I think]. Probably more.

I request the Smiths. "Just play anything by the Smiths," I say. He agrees. The DJ plays a Smiths song. Not sure which.

Im gunna be sick.

Why, even when you know that this time, the feeling *isnt* gunna go away, the cargo *is* coming up the chute, and you *are*, like it or not, going to be sick, do you still sit there, like its gunna go away? Or is it a case, again, of your mind slowing down a moment that actually happens near instantaneoously?

Vomit. Try to catch it. Miss.

Hands shoving me out. Bouncer? How could they move so fast? How am I still on my feet? Why havent I puked again? What is this on my arm? Oh yeah...puke.

Nikki and Cob are outside. Nikki has been vomitted on. By me. I vomitted on Nikki.

She's wearing Shannon's sweater. Shannon's *white* sweater. I am struck by the moment from earlier in the night when she asked Shannon if she could borrow a sweater, and she picked the plain, all white one. Its got vomit on the left arm [her left, my right]. She's pissed.

We start walking home. She lives multiple blocks away [I have no idea where we are at this point]. Cob gets a cab. I must reek, but we pile in.

I am laughing. At Nikki. *I* am laughing at *Nikki* Who *I* just puked on. I feel, I guess, this is funny. She, on the other hand, is not lauging. I dont remember if I was surprised that she didnt see the humor of the situation.

We get to her apartment, and I grab my stuff. Thank god Cob was there, so I dont end up sleeping in the park by Nik's apartment. Cob takes me to his apartment. Wu is not there. I crash on the couch anyway, and, at some point, make my way to the bathroom again, to puke in the more conventional way. Im not sure how long I was in there, but Cob later tells the Boys that I passed out, standing up, and leaning on the wall.

I remember thinking, as I was standing there, that I wished Cob had some good bathroom reading.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

3.28.01

I went to my last Rangers game of the season. I left work early to so I didnt have to take the train in from Newark and I could through the tunnel in plenty of time. Which I did. Isnt life grand?

When I got there, at 6, well over an hour before the puck dropped, there was this cute Her-look-alike sitting a few rows back, all alone. [She doesnt look like her, except for size and hair color, but she dressed like Her, and had that "look" like Her style-wise]. It didnt strike me right away that it was odd that a lone girl wpould be at a hockey game all alone so early. I didnt question my first thought, which was that she was probably waiting for someone and she got there early.

That someone never showed. She sat through the whole game alone. Chuck and I made numerous references to her alone-ness, but I never went up to her. I had my best chance during the second intermission, but I fought myself over what I could possibly say. "Are you here alone?" was all I could think of. And how stalker does that sound?

Of course, as soon as Chuck got back, it hit me. She was probably there with, or for one of the players. Even if it wasnt a ranger, the Islanders from Long Island were in town, and theyve got a billion young kids on their linuep. Myabe she was dating Tim Connolly, or Manny Malhotra? Now, I had to find out what her deal was, chance of embarassment or not.

I didnt. I never said a word [except when she left, and Chuck and I did the "I wuv you" joke]. How can I possibly be so pathetic when it comes to strange women?

I have to mention how good the Simpsons rerun was tonight. Its the one where Springfield has the "Bear Scare" which leads to Proposition 214 [to deport the illegal immigrants]. There are so many good lines...I have to quote them...

A bear wanders through Evergreen Terrace, and Ned nearly hits him with his Geo. Panicked, Ned crashes the car and struggles to enter the house. Eventually he crashes through glass near the front door.

A helicopter observes the bear.>

This is Kent Brockman with a special report from the Channel 6 News Copter. A large, bear-like animal, most likely a bear, has wandered down from the hill in search of food or perhaps employment.

This reporter urges families to stay indoors.

Homer laughs and pities the poor `Impson Family' (whose mailbox is being chewed by the bear) while the rest of the "Impson" family look out the window worriedly.

Homer: Let's all calm down. Everyone's going to be just fine, as long as I have enough beer. [opens the refrigerator only to find boxes of baking soda] [screams] All right, that does it. If I'm going to be trapped in the house, I gotta go out and get some beer.

Homer's hare brained scheme ends up in a pantless face to face confrontation with the bear. And none too soon, for the police soon arrive on the scene and tranquilize the bear. And Barney.

Book 'em Lou. One count of being a bear. And one count of being an accessory to being a bear.

While the bear is carried away by the U.S. Forest Service, Barney is being carried away by Moe.

Maude: Oh, Marge... it was horrible! We were trapped in the house all afternoon... and, well... we had to drink _toilet_ water! [sobs]

Marge: Well, things were bad everywhere.

Homer: I'm sick of these constant bear attacks. It's like a frickin' country bear jambaroo around here!

Ned reminds Homer that this is the only bear this town has seen, but Homer gets the whole town with him with a catchy chant...

Homer: We're here, we're queer, we don't want anymore bears.

Crowd: We're here, we're queer, we don't want anymore bears.

Lenny: Hey, that's a pretty catchy chant. Where did you hear it?

Homer: Oh, I heard it at the mustache parade they have every year.

The crowd busts through City Hall and bangs on the mayor's door.

Assistant: Sir, there's an unruly mob here to see you.

Quimby: Does it have an appointment?

Assistant: [consults clipboard] Yes, it does.

Skinner: I phoned ahead!

Homer: Mr. Mayor, I hate to break it to you, but this town is infested by bears.

Moe: Yeah, and these ones are smarter than the average bear. They swiped my pic-a-nic basket.

Helen: [frantic] Think of the children!

Quimby: All right, I promise to take swift and decisive action against these hibernating hucksters. [crowd cheers and leaves] [Quimby pulls out a picnic basket] Heh heh heh... [eats a sandwich]

Later, a full-force Bear Patrol is on watch. Homer watches proudly.

Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.

Lisa: That's spacious reasoning, Dad.

Homer: Thank you, dear.

Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.

Homer: Oh, how does it work?

Lisa: It doesn't work.

Homer: Uh-huh.

Lisa: It's just a stupid rock.

Homer: Uh-huh.

Lisa: But I don't see any tigers around, do you?

[Homer thinks of this, then pulls out some money] Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.

[Lisa refuses at first, then takes the exchange]

The mail arrives.

Homer: Woo-hoo! A perfect day. Zero bears and one big fat hairy paycheck. [opens it up] Hey! How come my pay is so low? ... Bear patrol tax! This is an outrage! It's the biggest tax increase in history!

Lisa: Actually, Dad, it's the smallest tax increase in history.

Homer: Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.

Lisa: That's home-_owner_ tax.

Homer: Well, anyway, I'm still outraged.

The mob is back, yelling "Down with taxes! Down with taxes!"

Quimby: Are those morons getting dumber or just louder?

Assistant: [checks his clipboard] Dumber, sir.

"They want the bear patrol but they won't pay taxes for it." Quimby thinks of a novel solution. He announces that taxes are high because of illegal immigrants and that they should be disposed of.

Moe:Immigants! I knew it was them! Even when it was the bears, I knew it was them.

In one week, the town will vote on a special referendum on Proposition 24, the proposition to get rid of immigrants. Everyone cheers, including Quimby.

In class, a mob surrounds Uter as Nelson pulls his suspenders.

Nelson: Hey, German boy. Go back to Germania! [everyone laughs]

Uter: I do not deserve this. I have come here legally as an exchange student!

Skinner: Young man, the only thing we exchanged for you is our national dignity. [everyone laughs]

Willie: [threatens children] You want to pick on immigrants? Then pick on Willie!

Skinner: Willie, please. The students want to pick on someone their own size.

Lisa reminds the family that the Simpson family immigrated here, and Abe gives in.

Abe: [narrating] The story of the Simpson family began in the Old Country. I forget which one exactly. My dad would drone on and on about America. He thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread, sliced bread having been invented the previous winter.

Abe's dad: [holds up an America pamphlet] See that, son? That's where we're going to live. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday.

Abe: Later that day, we set sail for America.

Apu is an illegal immigrant. Homer almost changes his mind. Almost.

At Moe's Tavern, Moe and the barflies put up signs.

Moe: You know what really aggravazes me? It's them immigants. They wants all the benefits of living in Springfield, but they ain't even bother to learn themselves the language.

Homer: Hey, those are exactly my sentimonies.

Barney: [babbles]

Moe: Yeah, you said it Barn.

Marge and family (sans Homer) wade through a crowd of picketers to the Kwik-E-Mart, where Apu offers Ganesha Yoo-Hoo to make the protestors go away. Apu tells Marge the story of how he graduated at the top of his 7,000,000 class at Calcutta Technical Institute to come study in America. His family and his child bride bid him fare well. At the Springfield Heights Institute of Technology, Apu learns from Professor John Frink.

[in the late '70s]
[Frink stands in front of a huge mainframe]
Frink: Well, sure, the Frinkiac-7 looks impressive [to student] Don't touch it! [back to class] But I predict that within 100 years computers will be twice as powerful, 10,000 times larger, and so expensive that only the five richest kings in Europe will own them.

Apu: Could it be used for dating?

Frink: Well, technically, yes, but the computer matches would be so perfect as to eliminate the thrill of romantic conquest. Ha-ho- ha-hey-hoo.

Late at night, Kearney purchases cigars, beer, and other items with a fake ID. Instead of prosecuting, Apu lets Kearney go, but first he has to say where he got the fake ID.

From Fat Tony, he did. Apu pays lots of money for fake IDs, birth certificates, etc. Tony strongly urges Apu to act American.

The Kwik-E-Mart is decked with Yankee attire. Homer talks to Apu but notices that he talks American now.

What do you say we take a relaxed attitude towards work and watch the baseball game? The "nye" [New York] Mets are my favorite squadron.

But when Homer inquires about Apu's statue of Ganesha, Apu cracks and breaks down when he realizes he failed his parents.

This passport is a cheap forgery! A cheap $2,000 forgery!

Homer: Darn it, Apu, I'm not gonna let them kick you out! [pulls a "Yes on 24" button off his shirt] I never should have bought this button. Can I have my three dollars back?

Apu: Store credit only.

Homer brings Apu to the Simpson house.

Lisa: All right! Now you have all the Simpsons behind you.

Apu: That's nice, although three of you are below voting age.

Homer: And I'm not registered.

The family try to think of a way that Apu can stay in the country Bart asks "Why not marry some American broad, then dump her once you get your citizenship?" Homer: [on phone] Hello, Selma? Selma my dear, how are you? ... Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Listen, shut up for a second. How would you like to marry Apu so he doesn't get deported?

Selma: I'd rather eat poison. My name's already Selma Bouvier Terwilliger Hutz McClure. God knows it's long enough without Nahassapeema-whatever. From now on, I'm only marrying for love. ... Mmm, possibly once more for money.

The family ponders on this problem at the dinner table. Apu: Oh, it's hopeless. Oh, poor Apu.

Abe: Hey! The government can't control the sky. What if you lived in a balloon?

Lisa: That's it!

Bart: Hear that? Hear that, mom? She's as dumb as me.

Lisa: No, not what he said. What he is. Grandfather, as in grandfather clause. Apu, how long ago did you visa expire?

Apu: Seven years, but I don't--

Lisa: There's an amnesty that was declared for people who've lived here as long as you. You can take the citizenship test!

Marge: But the vote on Proposition 24 is on Tuesday. You'll have to pass the exam before then.

Apu: Oh, that is not nearly enough time to learn over 200 years of American history.

Homer: Oh, it can't be that many. Come on, Apu. I'll be your tutor. [everyone looks worried]

Homer teaches Apu facts about American history, like that the 13 stripes on the American flag are for good luck, and the electrical college, while Chief Wiggum and boys prepare to deport the immigrants. The day before the exam, Homer asks Apu to study his 9th-grade history notes. Apu tries to study, but falls asleep after reading two words.

In the morning, Apu wakes up.

Through another sea of protestors, Apu takes the written exam, then the oral exam.

Proctor: All right, here's your last question. What was the cause of the Civil War?

Apu: Actually, there were numerous causes. Aside from the obvious schism between the abolitionists and the anti-abolitionists, there were economic factors, both domestic and inter--

Proctor: Wait, wait... just say slavery.

Apu: Slavery it is, sir.

Apu is now a citizen, and Homer throws a "Welcome to America" party.

Apu: Today, I am no longer an Indian living in America. I am an Indian-American.

Lisa: You know, in a way, all Americans are immigrants. Except, of course Native Americans.

Homer: Yeah, Native Americans like us.

Lisa: No, I mean American Indians.

Apu: Like me.

Homer:If I could just say a few words... I'd be a better public speaker.

At the Kwik-E-Mart, Apu opens a letter containing a jury duty summons He sobs as he celebrates his first day as a true American citizen... by throwing the paper away.

Marge is happy that things worked out for everyone. Well, almost everyone...

Willie:[being deported on boat] Ach... ingrates.

HOW GOOD IS THAT???

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

4.10.01

when i was little i thought there was a big drain somewhere at the bottom of the ocean.

sometimes when Im at the bathroom stall, it takes me time to a little bit of time to find the opening in my boxers to get it out. This is usually because I have like 4 shirts tucked into my pants, and the hold in the boxers [anyone know the name, or better, the sniglet, for this hole?] gets shifted to port or starboard. But here I am, fumbling around trying to get the willie out of the well, like there's nothing there. But Its there, its just well hidden . If there's somebody standing next to me, or at the mirror, do they notice my fumblings? What do they think? The male in me wants to say to explain to them the problem I am having has nothing to do with the Gift God Gave me. The Machinery hasnt depreciated to nothingness. "Look sir," I say, "It was colder this morning, so I wore an extra t-shirt...cause if you knew me, you'd know I dont like to wear jackets...and because of that I cant get to the..." By this time, if Im lucky, the person has just zipped up and left...

Can someone please make a note that its "for all intents & purposes" and not "for all intensive purposes." Maybe President Bush [its so hard to say that without adding the line from the gun episode..."*Former* president bush] can announce it at the next State of the Union address [though, something tells me he'd get it wrong too]

everything for you [humdaisy]

if i could change the way
i feel about you now
it would be so much easier
to do without

and love will rise
and love will fall
while always wanting
something more

if i could take my hands
and place them on your heart
they would be in the place
ive dreamt of from the start

and love will rise
and love will fall
while we stand where
we stood before

if i could steal the words
that hide behind your smile
risking it all to be with you just for a while
and love may rise
and love may fall
while we stand where
we stood before

id give up my everything for you

Stopped by Alastairs on the way home to drop off the Monster Magnet/Buckcherry show ticket. Its good to be hanging with Al again...he's a good kid, and for some reason we get along. But we have nothing in common, aside from a touch of oddity. And we dont crack each other up. Doesnt matter. He likes Leeway, and thats reason alone to be friends with someone.

I am a Napster god. There is no song that is beyond the grasp of my pirating digital fingers. I found a song by "A Real Rain." Right, you're saying. Its amazing what people have on their computers around the world. But its not just napster...its all the offshoots...aimster, all the gnutella clients, audiogalaxy. I can find it all. Its a music snob's dream.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

4.16.01

"All that you can't leave behind, you've got to leave it behind," Bono sang in an added coda to "Walk On" to close the show.

Its been nothing but hockey lately. Its odd...you'd think that when the Rangers get elimintate d[at least a month ago now] I wouldnt be as interested. Add in the fact that the Debbies are so darn good, and the last thing I should want to see is hockey...But Ive been watching every second I can...I just finished watching the Pittsburgh-Washington game 3 on ESPN [Pit 3-0 to take a 2-1 lead in the first round. Alex socred a perfect wrist shot over Kolzig's shoulder. It makes me ill he's so talented]. And now the Phily-Buffalo game 3 just ended [Phily 3-2 to get the series to 2-1]. St.Louis-San Jose game 3 is next from out west. I reely need to go to sleep.

Aside from the craziness of Easter yesterday [everyone here at home. But thankfully, Joe and Michael didnt show up. Saved me alot of aggravation Im sure], went to see Monster Magnet/Buckcherry with Alastair last night at the Birch Hill Night Club. Buckcherry was what I expected...a 1990s version of 1970s Aeromsmith. Nothing special. Monster Magnet rocked though. Never reeely listened to them, but they put on a hell of a show.

losing california [sloan]
You hit rock bottom and everybody knows it
But does anybody care how you got there?
Admit to yourself that everything's a problem
But when it comes down what do you care

And everybody loves it but
Nobody knows what it stands for
Get into yourself in dark sunglasses
And elevate it all 'til it means more

Sometimes it's too much
You want to get right out of your mind
Sometimes it's too much
You're gonna go right out of your mind

The best thing about these shows though is still the women. I am such a sucker for a mental groupie chick. There werent too many of them last night [which was surprsing considering the bands playing...it was a decidedly frat-boy-looking crowd]...but I only need one. Maybe someday ill actually approach them [that would make for a good, and most likely comical,. story].

While the show was good...it probably wasnt the smartest idea to go to bed at 2 pm on a 'work night." I was hurting this morning. Plus, my ears are still ringing. Im getting too old for this crap, and I cant imagine the damage Im doing to my ears.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

4.17.01

I love to go on blind dates. I should clarify that. I love to HEAR ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE WHO go on blind dates. Ive had two. I simply cannot muster the requisite level of fake interest that is necessary to see it to the hot-tub end of the participants on TV's "Blind Date." On the first one, we got along pretty good, but you could just tell we werent the same type...but we had a good time [and saw Jerry Seinfeld]. On the second one, set up by my old secretary Rae, I was soooo bored. I think we went to dinner at 8, and I was home by 9:30. And I think what i hate the most is that moment of let down when you actually see the person. I dont care who you are...Its never what you pictured. Both of the girls I went out with were well beyond my level...and I was still disappointed. Its tough to match up to Her.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

4.22.01

i was sitting at my desk, reading some dumb cases, and a few drops of something, much like water, just dripped out of my left nostril. Like three drops. Didnt breathe out harder than normal...didnt feel it coming. Just Drip...DripDrip.
-----------

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

4.27.01

I went out to dinner with Mara and Hogan tonight at Harvest Moon in New Brunswick. I just wanted to go out with Mara and Hogan alone cause i thought that since I adnt hung iut wth them in a while I "missed" them. But I was so bored. From the get go, I realized that i didnt have a single thing to talk about, and by the end of the appetizer [if not earlier] we were done.

Here's the problem. I hate talking about myself, cause I never have any good stories. If I could write instead of talk, Id probably be even a little bit interesting. But I dont, andwhen i speak, I have nothing to say. I am so jealous of people like Missy or MacLeod who always seem to not only have something to say, but say the right thing. Matt is like that too.

Hating talking about myself would make me a bad enough communicator, but my problems are compounded by the fact that I hate hearing about others. I reeely dont care how Mara and Hogan are doing, and I truly consider them some of my best friends. So I not only have nothing to say to them about myself, but I have nothig to ask them about themsleves, cause I dont care enough to figure out the questions.

We wrestled with some basic 1st grade level conversation, and then tried to move on to another bar to have a drink. Of course, at some point when the evening is not going well, you resort to the things that you know were funny in the past...Mara and I briefly mentioned that night after first year when I hooked up with Mel....the night they were dancing on the bar at Hogs 'n' Hefers. But of the two hours we spent tgether tonight...maybe 15 minutes of it was natural and not forced.

I am SOOOOO bored with life.

4.30.01

While you people sit at home and watch reruns of Scooby Doo, I am out promoting the BLueshirts' cause, even if they themselves are not men enough to do it. I spent Saturday evening, decked in MapleLeafs blue, in the mouth of the lion's swamp, lustily rooting on the Canada's team against the defending Stanley Cup champions, as if I too had the blood of the Canuck in me. I was not alone in my fight, having a significant number of Leaves there with me. The majority of whom appear to have spent the 8 hour bus ride from T.O. pounding higher-alcolhol content Molson [my theory was confirmed when one of the Mounties grabbed a cup of $5.75 Budweiser [8.87 CDN] and promptly declared "Tastes like piss"].

All was going well, until the second period, when my "friend", the Debbies fan, pointed out to The Heavyset Man in Front of Me, that I was, not only a Leafs fan like the kid from Kearny sitting next to him, but a Rangers fan as well. His neuorological systems appeared to suffer sensory overload, as he started spasming and foaming at the mouth. I guess the sight of a Rangers fan at a Devils playoff game was too much for his Chimp-mind to digest. Anyway, after his friend helped him regain his sense by waiving the salt from an Arena pretzel under his nose, he decided to spread the news to other Devils fans around us that I was an infiltrator. First on his Buddy List was the midget blond sitting across the aisle in her oversized Stevens jersey, and, apparently, no pants. Nice legs, but I dont think I would have risked sticking my head between them after she started chanting "LOSER! LOSER! LOSER!" at me. Its one thing to be openly mocked by a hot girl at a bar after she rejects your "You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away" pickup line. Its another to have midgets inciting a section-wide "homo" chant.

Anyway, I was all ready to rub it in each and every one of their ugly faces after the Leafs came back from three goals down in the third to send it to overtime with 23 seconds left. And then the Devils won in OT, and I had to make the long trek back over the walk-bridge to the Giants Stadium lot. All in all, a fun game, and reminder of why they have playoff games in the first place. Rest assured that should the Debbies and Pens go to the conference finals [certainly not a guarantee the way the Debbies are playing right now, and especially Marty Brodeur], I will be there with Alex jersey on.

I just saw LtP. Wow. I hadnt seen here in a while, and she looked SOOO good. I miss that.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

5.1.01

Even if the team is not man enough to do it, I am out promoting the BLueshirts' cause. I spent Saturday evening, decked in MapleLeafs blue, in the mouth of the lion's swamp, lustily rooting on Canada's team against the defending Stanley Cup champions, as if I too had the blood of the Canuck in me. I was not alone in my fight, having a significant number of Leaves there with me. The majority of whom appear to have spent the 8 hour bus ride from T.O. pounding higher-alcolhol content Molson [my theory was confirmed when one of the Mounties grabbed a cup of $5.75 Budweiser [8.87 CDN] and promptly declared "Tastes like piss"]. I didnt tell him because it was of the Swamp water.

All was going well, until the second period, when my "friend", the Debbies fan, pointed out to The Heavyset Man in Front of Me, that I was, not only a Leafs fan like the kid from Kearny sitting next to him, but a Rangers fan as well. His neuorological systems appeared to suffer sensory overload, as he started spasming and foaming at the mouth. I guess the sight of a Rangers fan at a Devils playoff game was too much for his Chimp-mind to digest. Anyway, after his friend helped him regain his sense by waiving the salt from a Continental Airlines Arena pretzel under his nose, he decided to spread the news to other Devils fans around us that I was an infiltrator. First on his Buddy List was the midget blond sitting across the aisle in her oversized Stevens jersey, and, apparently, no pants. Nice legs, but I dont think I would have risked sticking my head between them after she started chanting "LOSER! LOSER! LOSER!" at me. Its one thing to be openly mocked by a hot girl at a bar after she rejects your "You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away" pickup line. Its another to have a pantsless midget inciting a section-wide "homo" chant.

All in all, a fun game, and reminder of why they have playoff games in the first place. Great action, beautiful goals, highs and lows all the way to the end, and actual emotion on the ice and in the stands. Rest assured that should the Debbies and Pens go to the conference finals [certainly not a guarantee the way the Debbies, and especially Marty Brodeur, are playing right now], I will be there with Alex jersey on, fighting the good fight.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

5.2.01

From: Lil Miss S
Sent: Wednesday, May 02, 2001 9:25 AM
To: [mark]
Subject: BJ

I have myself and Amy going to the Bon Jovi concert with you, don't you want to invite one of your friends? I have another friend that would definitely want to go....I won't ask her till I hear back from you.

S

-----Original Message-----
From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, May 02, 2001 9:38 AM
To: Lil Miss S
Subject: RE: BJ

SOMEONE has forgotten the lessons learned in "Flirting 202-- InnuenDos and InnuenDonts"

Rule No 2.: "The term 'BJ' means something completely different to a guy, and should be used only with extreme caution"

The only friends I have who would go to Bon Jon with me are married and went to the show we missed. So they are out. I can ask COB, who was out with us the night I ruined your sweater. He'd probably go, but Ill let you know. I did speak with the guy for the 4 tickets and he told me its no problem...Im gunna have lunch with him in a few weeks and he should have them then.

Now, on to more important issues...what is Cohn & Wolfe Healthcare? Aside from the place you work, I mean.

i dont need to be the king of the world as long as Im the hero of this little girl...
[mark]

-----Original Message-----
From: Lil Miss S
Sent: Wednesday, May 02, 2001 9:42 AM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: BJ

Ha ha.....LOL! Totally didn't even think of that! It obviously stands for Bon Jovi!!!!!!

It's a division of Young & Rubicam, and it's a PR agency for healthcare. Let me know if COB is gonna come because if not, I have Karina who would kill for tickets! When is it again. June or July 28?

----Original Message-----
From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, May 02, 2001 9:48 AM
To: Lil Miss S
Subject: RE: BJ

Then just invite Karina. She sounds cute, and Im in the business of making cute girls happy. COB doesnt need to go to a BJ show [ahem]. He only likes the ballads. He'll probably spend the summer travelling around following Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuce anyway.

The show is Saturday July 28th, 8 pm. If its a nice day, maybe we can get smoke some sausages [ahem] in the parking lot before.

daddy says she's too young, but she's old enough for me...

[mark]

-----Original Message-----
From: Lil Miss S
Sent: Wednesday, May 02, 2001 9:53 AM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: BJ

cool, sounds like a plan! I just talked to Karina. She is soooo psyched! It's all a done deal. We're in...for snausages and everything! You stud you!

-----Original Message-----
From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, May 02, 2001 10:03 AM
To: Lil Miss S
Subject: RE: BJ

Save the stud talk for the show, when I have you three dressed up in matching "Mark's the Man" t-shirts and calling me "Hef"

now go get some work done. thats what I *should* be telling myself.

everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold...

[mark]

------------
UK Worker Sentenced for Belly - Flop

LONDON (AP) -- A 320-pound meat factory worker was sentenced to community service Wednesday for performing a belly-flop on a workmate in a pork-processing plant.

Andrew Baldry -- nicknamed ``Honey Monster'' -- was convicted last month of assaulting Christopher Purvis at the plant in Beccles, eastern England.

Purvis said the 6-foot-2 Baldry belly-flopped on top of him as three other workers pinned him down. Purvis, who is 5 feet 8 and weighs 140 pounds, suffered cracked ribs and has not returned to work since the incident last June.

Baldry, 32, maintained he fell after being pushed by a colleague.

Judge John Holt of Bury St. Edmunds Crown Court ordered Baldry to perform 180 hours community service and pay Purvis $1,000.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

5.5.01

ive written a lot of stuff in this journal. so that you dont have to read through the past entries, ive summarized my diary below.

blahblah girls this, blah girls that, blahblah a lot of things dont make sense to me, blahblah silly childhood reflections, blahblah somebody emailed me, blahblah i dont agree with something, blah complaint, blah dissatisfaction, blah irony, blah im hungry but too lazy to make food, blah love not lust, blah so i woke up with a kitten's ass in my face, blahblah this should be different, blah we could all get along if we just tried, blah on second thought well probably never get along, blahblah rhetorical question, blah did something random and fun, blah did something to make people actually think instead of follow mindlessly, blah my peers bother me sometimes, blah idle thought, blahblah why am i here, blah that thing has a contradictory nature which amuses me, blahblah im bored, blah something interesting happened to me today, blah i drove around for no reason last night, blah, i had a really weird dream, blahblah this concept conflicts with that one, blah i think a higher level of communication will someday bring us together, allowing us to realize that we are all one, blah all i want to do is have fun and be happy forever, blah if there were an official, 7000-page manual to the male gender, the troubleshooting section would probably start on page 9.

blah.

blahblah must sometimes type things.

blah spaced.

blah like.

blah this.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

5.15.01

Love. Love will keep us together...Love. Love will tear us apart. Again... Baby,baby. Where did our love go?...Love is a battlefield...I loved you, then I died...What the world needs now is love. Sweet love...I'm so high--on love...You give love a bad name...Love. Exciting and new. Come aboard. We're expecting you...Baby, I need your lovin'. Got to have all your lovin'...Might as well face it. You're addicted to love...Hey shitmouth, I love you...What's love got to do got to do with it?...Our love's in jeopardy. Baby...Crazy little thing called love...I'm all out of love. I'm so lost without you...How deep is your love?...I'm not your lover. I'm not your friend. I am something that you'll never comprehend...Modern love walks beside me. Modern love walks on by. Modern love gets me to the church on time...Love, soft as an easychair. Love, fresh as the morning air...I love you more than he. Well I love you endlessly...Don't say you love me if you don't need me. Don't send me roses on your behalf...When a man loves a woman...That's the look. That's the look. The look of love...Do you remember where we met? That's the day I knew you were my pet. I wanna tell you just how much I love you...The Rockies may crumble. Gibraltar may tumble. They're only made of clay. But our love is here to stay...Love letters straight from your heart keep us so near while apart...You can't hurry love. No, you'll just have to wait...I love you. You love me...

Okay, Ill admit it. Im one of those hapless fools who sometimes cant quite grasp the idea that misery does not necessarily deserve the company of loved ones, strangers or those that are the victims of my longing. I had the most unfortunate tendency to think I deserved everything good in life. And it really isnt from a self-centered perspective that I say this, though Im sure such a hideously biased opinion is, much like 7-11's Slurpee machines, self-serving. Ask my friend John. Every time we go grocery shopping, Ill buy myself a half-gallon of ice cream because of some personal belief that if I have to be miserable day in and day out that said emotional dysfunction should be compensated for in terms of some manufactured frozen-goods. Mint-chip ice cream. Mmmmmm. Then Ill go home and after having dined on far too much flavorless spaghetti, Ill shamelessly watch Sabrina or Paris, Texas or Annie Hall or When Harry Met Sally, indulging in my mint chip ice cream. [Remember the logic in Wim Wenders' Wings of Desire, that true loneliness equals a true state of wholeness?] Sweetness and pleasure without sustenance. And 99.44% of the times that I go through this ritual, the irony of my frozen treat/reward rears its ugly head: The misery hasnt relinquished its firm grip, but hey, how about that full stomach?! Once again, I will have discovered that life is nothing like the silver-screen and the endless lists of "and-they-lived-happily-ever-after" romances. Im not even in the picture. That heartwarming "falling in love with the idea of falling in love in movies" nostalgic vomit. Theres not even a soundtrack on vinyl to scour the record bins for. And David Bowie thought it was bad living in a silent film. Shucks.

I hate it. One day Ill be the simp from next door prancing about the land and before you know it, someone else has replaced the head of Medusa and the world becomes this whirling mess, fleeting from moments of relaxed happiness to virtual sadness. This happens about once a year. Ill find myself wrapped up in preposterously time-consuming acts of self-abuse like peeking behind the living room curtain for that teal mobile to pull up or checking the person's horoscope on a regular basis because, hell, maybe Sydney Omarr knows something that I dont. More often than not, Ill discover an infinite number of ways that this person supposedly fits into my life, reading into things whether in song, fortune cookies, or the number of syllables in her name, just to name a few ridiculous examples. Then of course there are all those useless episodes of jealousy and questions of self-worth, but still with a glimmer of hope. The whole shebang finds me dazed and confused, waiting by the telephone late at night, begging the fucking thing to ring or Ill shoot, I promise. [Ive wasted many precious hours doing this kind of crap.] Fuck, maybe thats a sign. Or maybe shes just playing games? Yeah, who would bother. How completely pathetic.

Last year was not the five star, thumbs up blockbuster movie I had longed for. Much like the previous summer, life came to a screeching halt when all the love crashed on the turnpike, only this time it was off of I-95 instead of I-280. No fatalities, just lots of scars and third degree burns. The thing that bugs me is that I always saw it coming, the inevitablecollision of two foolish people/test crash dummies who agonized through questionable weeks, pretending everything was fine and dandy when the grass really was greener on the other side by the grazing sheep. No pun intended, thank you. Of the "22 Stages of Heartbreak" as described by Matt Groening, I experienced the following: 1) disbelief, 2) shock, 3) slow sinking sensation, 4) pain, 5) extreme pain, 6) pain pain pain, 7) deep despair, 8) sudden rage, 9) self-pity, 10) self-loathing, 11) seething hatred, 12) gloom, 13) heart of stone, 14) wounded but alive, 15) occasional perkiness, and 16) ready for further punishment.

So anyway, come 1992 I was at stage #16, knowing quite well what the fuck I was getting into, all smothered in the ideal movie-romance. Sometime in February, I get suckered into helping organize a campus event, the legendary Sleazy & Cheezy 3" which consisted of inebriated fancy footwork and out of control nudity of some of the 100+ participants that crowded into the small lounge to the tune of "Pac-Man Fever", "Push It", "Darling Nikki", "99 Luftballoons", "I Will Always Love You", and limitless classic cheese.Me, being the wonderful person that I am, once again deejayed the event, this time in appropriate drag. I would have to say that I was the most beautiful cross-dresser there and thats not even relatively speaking. But despite the grandiose entertainment I provided to this drunk 'n nekked crowd and being the finest cross-dresser possible, not a single soul took notice of my starpower, left all by lonesome to pack up all the equipment and fall asleep on yet another empty bed. To make matters worse, my roommate and a very naked girl [allison?] had become incredibly friendly at the gala event, macking all over the place in the most obnoxious manner possible. Of course, that meant Id have to sleep on the couch while Lord knows what happened as they slept on my queen-sized futon. Sure, that didnt last, but eventually John met another woman by quarter's end, leaving me the only member of the household sans girlfriend, contributing yet another hearty blow to my losing streak.

Im almost positive I go about life trying my darndest to be the most pleasurable person possible, only to discover that a lot of people tend to be attracted to the dung-heap of society, the heartless lot that gets away with murder because they are physically attractive. Because they are dangerous. Because they can. Witnessing this kind of crap only serves to disgust me. Or maybe Im just going about it the wrong way. Do nice guys really finish last? I know that the concept of the interdependence of love and hate is nothing new. Recall, oh semi-educated youth of today, that in Greek mythology it was Aphrodite, the goddess of love, who found Ares, the god of war, deliciously irresistible and exciting, much more than monster truck deaths, episodes of Dionne Warwicks Psychic Friends Network or televised lawn-bowling tournaments on ABC's Wide World of Sports, and those are important things. You bet jurassic Zeus was pissed. Polly Jean Harvey of PJ Harvey multinational greatness claims that for her next album, she used Bret Easton Ellis' killing-spree novel American Psycho for research. "I often think of violent books I've read. At the same time that you're reading violent rape scenes you can feel really aroused, and I find that really hard to deal with but at the same time really intriguing," she once said in an interview for Details.

Yeah, I guess I am missing the point of life. I think Ill pass on the "Fun with Habitrail Tubes" tips. Hell, even GG Allin got laid more than I do, which is curious and disturbing all the same.

Feeling cheated from the wealth of love, happiness and all that mushiness, I couldnt help but feel a severe case of hatred for my Ex and probably an even greater hatred of myself for feeling that way. Sure I was warned by the best of them, but you know what they say: Like Ray Charles, love is blind. During the crash-course of the relationship, I completely extolled the virtues of said loved-one and ran the red lights on all that I despised. Very stupid, but not unheard of. When misery had taken its toll, all those repressed feelings flowed like a river of lava: bubbling, molasses-thick, blazing hot, and detrimental to all in its fiery path. I recall all the time in between when badmouthing the Ex was the only way to rescue myself from seemingly endless wrestling matches of self-loathing and standard post-relationship frustration. Of course I had done no wrong, in my mind at least. I was an angel by all standards of angeldom and heck, its their loss, right? Well?! If only you could hear the verbal mung that was once part of my daily vocabulary at the time. It really shocked me that I could feel so much hate for someone I once loved. I didnt understand it for a second. It was depressing to think that everything boiled down to this negative feeling, that this was all anyone should expect out of a relationship.

Of course, I was wrong again. As the months passed, all that boiling anger had since simmered and dried up and once again the sun was out and the skies were blue and I was able to face my Ex without flinching or thinking about awfulthings. I learned something from the whole rat race and wish to lavish you with the this bastion of knowledge: By all means, acknowledge your capacity to hate. There has been this lingering, foul-smelling societal notion that we be pleasure-seeking nimrods without a single drop of animosity towards one another. But consider the fact that you can only truly hate the ones you love. Hate can be used constructively to heal wounds. Freud believed that love and all the dark and evil things that love totes around-jealousy, rage, vindictiveness, hatred, possessiveness-actually imply one another. Cliché, cliché, but without hate, there can be no love. Pretty fucked up logic, but much more realistic than those held by any of a number of pot-smoking-Jerry-worshipping-peace-love hippie shits. Im quite certain that if I pretended to not feel so much hurt and anger I could guarantee you that Id be mentally more messed up than Rubik's Revenge.

Excuse the clinical tirade, I started feeling like some lame Maximumrocknroll column. Im in no rush with all this love stuff, I know one day Ill have my cake and mint chip ice cream and you can count on me eating it. Heres to all my love-hate relationships of the past and the current ones going overseas. This gun wasnt made to fire.

Love and/or hate,

[mark]

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

5.16.01

For all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these 'it might have been'
--John Greenleaf Whittier

The Greatest Moment in TV History: when Ralph Malph tried to hide the handlebars of Fonzie's bike in the Cunningham mailbox

So I come to work on Monday, and there is an email from 8:30 am Sunday on that project I chose to ignore yesterday to laugh at Victor's bowtie [among other things in that "play" they put on ]. The entire email said "Status?" Of course, by 8 am this morning, the status had not changed, so I sent a terse apologetic email, promising to get something that day. He came running into my office to reassure me that he was not mad, and that he was only using such emails as a means to keep track of his own busy project list. Then he hoped that I had a wonderful weekend. And then he kissed me. Ok, maybe not that last part. Buoyed by his support and understanding, I resolved, then and there, to not let this man down again, and to focus on work, rather than play, from here on out. Then I went on the web and read the comics.

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

5.22.01

From: [me]
Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2001 6:08 PM
To: [leeeeeeeeeesa]
Subject: RE: sooo????

Lets try this one then: women think [too much], men act [too rashly] Got a problem with that, Einstein???

From: [leeeeeeeeeesa]
Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2001 6:05 PM
To: [me]
Subject: RE: sooo????

hunting, gathering...they are quite similar really. in order to locate the object for gathering, you must hunt. in order to succeed in the hunt, you must gather the prey. the distinction is a grey one in my mind.

From: [me]
Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2001 5:55 PM
To: [leeeeeeeeeesa]
Subject: RE: sooo????

"Biologically, men hunt and women gather."

There, in 6 words and 2 punctuation marks, I not only explained why men love a challenge, but why women love to play men off each other. Men love chasing, and ultimately catching, the women...and women love having multiple guys giving them attention and "selecting" one who will be the best mate. Of course, women who play men off each other implicity sanction the challenge and thereby incite the men's behavior [or it might be the other way around...doesnt matter whether the chicken comes before the egg...But it *does* matter whether the man come...uh...nevermind]. Ok, so this theory has been developed solely on my rel'p with Her...but thats as solid a case study as there ever was.

From: [leeeeeeeeeesa]
Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2001 5:42 PM
To: [me]
Subject: RE: sooo????

We are living paralell lives! I am sitting under a vent billowing out frigid air, despite numerous whiny emails to our facilities director. (who happens to be married to my new secretary ... hm, maybe that's why he's been ignoring me...)

Why exactly is it that every guy loves a challenge? If you can explain that one to me in 100 words or less, I'll be impressed.

From: [me]
Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2001 5:30 PM
To: [leeeeeeeeeesa]
Subject: RE: sooo????

Now why would *I* think *you* have a fear of commitment? Thats just crazy talk!

Anyway, if its any consolation to you [or your parents] i think what you said about your parents' belief in your sister is probably the exact same as what my parents think about me. And I can assure you that I am even less interested in love with my fellow man than I am in working here overnight.

It sounds like you have made up your mind, and it sounds like a logical choice...But that doesnt mean you cant make him suffer and beg a little bit, right? Besides, he might like that more...every guy loves a challenge.

for some reason, there is a draft of cold air blowing right on me. I wish this new office would just make up its mind as to what temperature if wants to be.

From: [leeeeeeeeeesa]
Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2001 4:54 PM
To: [me]
Subject: RE: sooo????

Are you saying that the problem is my fear o' commitment? That could be true. So there, its acknowledged!! But regardless of The Fear, I have no intention of cheating on Ben either before or after Meet the Parents. Its a should-I-dump-him-or-not debate. And I will probably not dump him, because if I really wanted to I would have already done it when I was pissed at him and had a good excuse.

My sister has been going clubbing a lot with her gay college guy pals ... no sign yet of a gay girl pal ... but maybe one will surface. That would be quite interesting. Especially because both of my parents are *quite certain* that she's just extremely picky about who she dates and that's why she never brings any boys home.

From: [me]
Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2001 4:19 PM
To: [leeeeeeeeeesa]
Subject: RE: sooo????

Recently, I was driving a close friend home one night after some general carousing, and he asked that we stop by the CVS for some you-know-whats. Before you get the wrong idea, they were for him and his wife. Needless to say, I was not going to let him off the hook easy, as I made sure to go in with him and make his purchase as uncomfortable as possible. I havent seen him squirm that much since he was the captain of Nutley squad on Ch. 8's "High School Bowl." When you aint gettin' any yourself, its the little things that make life enjoyable.

I dont know if LandLord guy is the right option...you never seemed to high on him before. Could it be your interpretation of his appearance and actions were being clouded by an unacknowledged fear of commitment to Chris the Hombre? On the other hand, if you are going to be out two roommates, you may be able to "barter" a rent reduction. Whatever one does...one being someone named "[leeeeeeeeeeeesa]"...one should at least wait until *after* Meet the Parents is over to cheat on Ben Stiller.

As for your family's reaction to Chris, they're probably going to be too shocked by your sister's coming out [this does seem like the perfect opportunity, dont you think?] to even notice him.

From: [leeeeeeeeeesa]
Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2001 3:13 PM
To: [me]
Subject: RE: sooo????

They haven't tried to er...expand the scope of the roomie relationship. And I haven't heard any noises, although once I did find a box of (unused) you-know-whats on the livingroom coffee table - they were apparently about to go at it right there on the couch but were interrupted when I arrived home unexpectedly.

As for Chris the Boy (as distinguished from Chris the Man), yes, he's still coming home with me....and my mother has invited every relative in the entire state of Michigan over to see me & meet my great catch (my Dad told me and I said, He may as well see the gene pool, and my Dad responded, He's not going to like what he sees!). I'm considering introducing him as the guy who I'm dating but who I still haven't decided whether I'm going to dump or not, how do you think that would go over?

and then there's a side plot because the landlord came to the cinco-de-mayo party (left before Chris ever showed up) and was looking very good and acting remarkably sweet...and ever since has been emailing me daily trying to get me to go out with him again and I honestly am tempted.

From: [me]
Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2001 3:04 PM
To: [leeeeeeeeeesa]
Subject: RE: sooo????

While that is good gossip, and it raises interesting questions [like, do you hear strange noises when they think you're asleep? or have the tried to make this a "three's company" rel'p, if you know what I mean?], I was more interested in the saga that was to be your Memorial Day weekend. You never told me if Chris the Boy was still going home with you.

From: [leeeeeeeeeesa]
Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2001 2:52 PM
To: [me]
Subject: RE: sooo????

well, one of my roomates, Ryan, started dated one of my other roomates, Kate. that was some good gossip there for a while. especially a couple of weeks ago when they had their first big fight and Kate threatened to throw his things out on the street!!!

but Kate just called me to say that Ryan has decided to move out - its too much for them to be dating and living together so soon in their relationship (duh). do you know anyone who's looking for a place to live in Hoboken??????? Our 4th roomate Chris is also moving out soon so we actually are going to have 2 rooms available. Chris is moving into the city with a friend, her job got transferred out of Jersey City into the World Financial Center so it makes sense for her.

From: [me]
Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2001 2:00 PM
To: [leeeeeeeeeesa]
Subject: sooo????

leeeeeessa....
whats the latest update? im so bored, I need some good gossip!

[mark]

---------
From: [me]
Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2001 5:14 PM
To: cob
Subject: and how could you...

pass up sending me this one???

"Woman Bites Off Man's Testicles"

CHICAGO (Reuters) - A woman walked into Chicago Police headquarters early on Friday and handed over a pair of testicles she said she had bitten off a man who had sexually assaulted her, police said.

``During the assault, the female victim got the man's testicles in her mouth and bit them off,'' Officer Thomas Donegan told Reuters.

The woman presented the testicles at police headquarters, a short walk from where the alleged attack occurred, Donegan said.

The man found his way to a local hospital where he underwent unsuccessful reattachment surgery and was being questioned by police.

The woman, 42, was treated at another hospital and released.

------------

From: [me]
Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2001 4:38 PM
To: Amy
Subject: like i was saying...

i went to pittsburgh last weekend...it was kinda spur of the moment, so a few weeks ago i sent an email to PGH ALL asking for recommendations for hotels, hangouts, hip places [cause Im clearly one happening hombre], blahblahblah. In a matter of 5 minutes, I had a dozen responses. So I send an email back to PGH ALL, saying "I guess its slow in Pittsburgh today. Thanks...I have what I need."

So one of the PRC partners calls me into his office to tell me that i should be more careful with my email...because one of the PGH partners [apparently someone of great importance] took offense to my email, and complained to the PRC partner about it. I mean...give me a break...how could anyone think that was i was seriously insulting them???

Anyway, so when youknowwho gets mad at you for trying to help people out, tell youknowwho to RELAX! [now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go kiss youknowwho's butt some more about The Move, cause I want another bookcase.]

Sorry to interrupt before. Maybe one day Ill actually know how to use the new phones and Ill be able to call you instead. If only someone would send a memo around explaining them...

-----------
From: [me]
Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2001 4:08 PM
To: lil miss s
Subject: when the children cry

lil miss:

doesnt look like we missed much monday night. The Jovinator only played one new song for the TV taping...and he probably played it a half-dozen times. I mean, maybe I could handle hearing "love for sale" 6 times in one night, cause that's just a classic...[I dont know, he might have played another one as a "treat" for the people who came]

--------
A man is out driving happily along in his car late one Saturday night. Before too long, the cops pull him over. The policeman walks up to the man and asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"

"Why? Was I weaving all over the road?" the man answered.

"No," replied the policeman, "you were driving fine. It was the ugly fat chick in the passenger seat that gave you away."
----------

yodeling must be more fun for the performer.
[mark]

qotd:

"brave is a meaningless word
in the 21st century,
save for the times that youve heard
when it means stupidity."
--karate [caffeine or me?]
-----------

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

5.23.01

ANAGRAM

A CYNTHIA TUSK
A INTACT HUSKY
A HAUNT STICKY
ITHACA SKY NUT
HAYSTACK UNIT
ATTICA HUN SKY
AHA STICKY NUT
AHA ICKY STUNT
AHA CITY STUNK
AHA YUCK STINT
AHA CUT STINKY
ANITA SUCK THY
ANITA TUCK SHY
ANA SUCH KITTY
SATAN YUCK HIT
SANTA ICKY HUT
SANTA YUCK HIT
TANYA SHUCK IT
TANYA SUCH KIT
TANYA SICK HUT
TANYA SUCK HIT
TANYA TUCK HIS
YACHT TUNA SKI
CATHY ANUS KIT
CIA KATHY STUN
CIA TASTY HUNK
TACIT AN HUSKY
TACIT SAY HUNK
TACK HAS UNITY
TACKY ASH UNIT
TACKY ANUS HIT
TACKY TUNA HIS
TACKY USA HINT
CAN KATHY SUIT
SCANTY AUK HIT
SAUCY THANK IT
SAUCY THAT INK
SAUCY AT THINK
CAT AIN'T HUSKY
SHAKY ANTI CUT
SHAKY AIN'T CUT
HAS TAUNT ICKY
THAT ANUS ICKY
HAY AIN'T STUCK
TAINT KAY SUCH
ANY TAUT HICKS
-----------

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

6.22.01

[READ FROM THE BOTTOM]
-------------

From: [smonday]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 3:29 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

you are a sick man.

From: [mark]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 3:28 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

I dont reeely know what it was either, i always get the names of those medieval torture devices messed up...but it would have been ok if it wasnt so rusty!!!

From: [smonday]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 3:23 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

ouch, sounds painful. I don't think I want to know what the object was.

-----Original Message----- From: [mark]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 3:22 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

Nope...but luckily for my laziness, I got it out about an hour ago using a sharp metal object. THe wound will heal in time.

-----Original Message----- From: [smonday]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 3:21 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

Um, no, other than walking across the street and getting a toothpick or a toothbrush from the little convenience store. Or is that too much effort?

From: [mark]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 3:20 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

Why, you got a suggestion as to how I can?

From: [smonday]
> Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 3:20 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

Did you get the pizza out yet?

From: [mark]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 1:19 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

Every time I stop by your office, for some business-related purpose of course, you are out galavanting somewhere. I dont think that heat lamp setup would be good for all your stuffed eeyores.

I am not kidding about this pizza stuck in my tooth. Its driving me crazy. And, as bad luck would have it, i just took the overnight bag [with toothbrush] out of my trunk last weekend.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 1:15 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

sorry. I'll stop working you to death.
And by the way, have you seen me lately? I'm white as a ghost!! I, too need a tan. Maybe I'll steal some of those palm trees and coconuts and put a heat lamp in my office....then I can pretend I'm at the beach while I slave away.

From: [mark]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 1:13 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

Only 6 more months til the show starts...Unbelievable that its almost the halfway point of the year, and I still dont have a tan. You, and I mean you personally, are working me too hard. Its hard work sending all these clearly business-related emails.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 1:10 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

See, that's what you get for making fun of me!
Actually, I think that's the email police telling you that you're not sending "business-related" emails.
And like I told you, had you gotten to lunch earlier, you would have had a Pepsi cup!
Yes, I do get to go to the Christmas party, and I can't wait to see that one.

>
From: [mark]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 1:05 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

You mean the plain ol, boringly labeled, cups? Didnt we have this discussion already about the straws? All the cool people had the Pepsi cups. I just wanna fit in. And those cocunuts are SOOOO last wednesday.

I have a new promise for you. I will no longer make fun of you...cause each time I do, my computer crashes. DO YOU HEAR THAT HP VECTRA VL???

BTW, from what I hear, the real fun is at the christmas party, were a certain partner with a first name sounding like "scurrvy" tapdances. You get to go to that, right? I wouldnt want you to miss such top-notch entertainment.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 12:56 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

did you try the kitchen? Rumor has it that there's paper ones in the cabinets.
I think I even spotted a couple coconuts.

From: [mark]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 12:54 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

Inflatable palm trees? Now you're just teasin' me.

Hard to be insulting when Im still enjoying a few pieces of that pizza lodged in my teeth. It would have been nice to wash it down with something. Know where I can locate a free cup???

From: [smonday]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 12:37 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

Had I organized it, there would have been plenty o' palm trees so that someone could steal one and no one would likely notice. Who knows? Maybe I would have gotten inflatable palm trees!

From: [mark]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 11:24 AM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

You might think I am going to be nice and say "they should let someone who knows what she's doing handle these things, like yourself." But, like I said earlier, by the end of the week, my insult skills are finely honed. I dont dare imagine the horror that would have occurred if they had let you handle the whole thing. I shudder to think what else could have been in short supply. Raspberries? Ice cream scoopers? PALM TREES??????

From: [smonday]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 10:38 AM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

hey, hey, hey....I didn't order them. Had I ordered them, I would have ordered more than enough as to avoid my unfortunate MFM incident as well as provide you with extras so that you could turn your office into a virtual bendy aquarium.

From: [mark]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 10:36 AM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

::::::::::
oh no, we only order the finest in fishy bendy straws.
::::::::::::

As if there are multiple types of fishy bendy straws. Did you surf to www.fishybendstrawsrus.com?

From: [smonday]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 10:27 AM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

I will have you know that it took no more than 2 minutes for me to get those straws. But it was pretty funny just to have to ask.

But if you would like to picture that conversation in your head and it makes you laugh, go right ahead. Glad I could brighten your day. It might be at my expense, but hey, as long as you get a laugh out of it.

From: [mark]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 10:21 AM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

Why do you assume that I dont have a fake coconut cup? Dont you know was assuming does to you U and Me? Regardless, I am imagining the sight of you begging MFM, who as a group, I think, speaks limited english, for appropriate straws. I can just picture the conversation not going as smoothy as you hoped, and you having to get into a whole explanation for the reason for the need of these staws, which probably forced you to quote extensively from 10th grade geometry. Oh, I shall laugh long and hard this morning. If I time it right, it should take me right until the 12 noon pizza lunch.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 10:15 AM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch
>
actually, I noticed that myself.

For some reason, there were 24 more coconuts than there were straws, so I thought to myself, hey, we have staws in the kitchen...no problem. Yep, then I realized that there was nooo way those straws were fitting in the cups. So, I had to run across the street and beg My Favorite Muffin for their straws, because they fit.

Yep, imagine me walking up to the counter and asking for 24 bendy straws. Nope, I don't want any food or anything to drink, just some straws. It was pretty funny.

I do agree...there's nothing quite like a bendy straw.

Well, if you would like a fishy straw, I do have an extra. One red and one pink. Of course, you don't have the smoothie or the coconut cup to go with it, but hey, it's something.

From: [mark]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 10:07 AM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

You know, I wasnt going to mention it, but I have a beef with those straws...Did you know that those straws are smaller in diameter than the normal everday drinking straws that we keep in the "kitchen?" When I dropped my fancy fishy straw on the floor, you may think I was disappointed. But NO HO HO, I wasnt unhappy at all, because I knew that the normal everday drinking straws we keep are in fact NOT normal...they are BENDY STRAWS. Who doesn't love bendy straws? If you dont, you might be a communist, cause you sure aint a red-blooded, apple-pie-loving American. So, when I dropped my fishy straw on the contaminated floor, there were no tears shed, cause I knew of the bendy straws in the "kitchen." But then I tried to place the bendy straw in the fake coconut cup hole...and it didnt fit. It was too fat. Part of me thought, well, just take a fishy straw from some other fake coconut cup and none will be the wiser. But, as Im sure you have no doubt felt, there's no going back from a bendy straw. Im not sure exactly how this affects you, but I suspect you had some part to play in this fiasco.

[mark]

ps: I will allow, for the good of the Firm, the trees to remain in place until the picnic.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 9:59 AM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

ah, true. I was actually thinking of taking one myself, but we still need them for the picnic.

I did get some fishy straws as a consolation prize, however. They're pretty neat.

From: [mark]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 9:57 AM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

Well, I dont want to hog the trees...there might be others among us, say, recently made partners, who might want them too.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 9:55 AM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

I think it would be a little difficult to hide. Why not make it blatant then and tell people that you're going for a tropical theme in your office?

From: [mark]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 9:53 AM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: summer associate pizza lunch

I want one of those palm trees. I almost took one last night, but then I realized that it would be a little tough to "hide" that in my office.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 9:42 AM
To: [lots of people]

Just a reminder that there will be a pizza lunch with the summer associates today in conference room D at 12pm. Come on down and grab a slice!
-----------

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

6.27.01

[READ FROM THE BOTTOM]

----Original Message-----
From: [smonday]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:35 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: softball

see ya later

From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:34 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: softball

Seeing that we have run out of things to talk about, I will take my leave. G'day m'lady.

ABCU Later.
[mark]

From: [smonday]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:34 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: softball

yep

From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:33 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: softball

first thing they teach you in law school...CYA

From: [smonday]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:32 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: softball

ah, business-related emails. yes they are.

From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:31 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: softball

Its a joke. His was the first name I saw on the list next to my phone. Please understand no meanness was intended. Fulton rocks. Now, it would be a different story if I said...nevermind.

Hey, at least you can claim productivity today. The only thing I have been producing is these business-related emails.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:29 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: softball

No, I am not blaming you. I had very little to do in the first place except hear certain people bitch and fix their problems. Which I did. So my day has been productive on the whole, but slow.
I have nothing to blame Fulton for...that's just mean of you.

From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:27 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: softball

Actually, I would take "freak" as a compliment. I fear very little, but I definitely fear normality. or normalcy. whatever.

I assume you are blaming for your lack of production on me? I can take that, and it is probably deserved. However, please note that I did not initiate email contact with you until well after lunch time. Your lack of morning production can only be blamed on one person...

Fulton.

I am not doing much work today specifically, cause I dont have anything good to do. Though I have become very good at accomplishing alot while I waste time.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:20 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: softball

no, I didn't mean it in that way. Such paranoia...
By the way, are you doing any work today? I know I'm doing very little.

From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:20 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: softball

i assume you define "interesting" as "freak." you wouldnt be the first person to tell me that.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:19 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: softball

you are a very interesting person, you know that?

From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:18 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: softball

Oh thats SOOOO 1995. I do a trick where I open the can with a body part that the girls LOVE. Some guys too. Lets be honest, I need all the "manly" help I can get. So if there's some raw meat around, I may just have to rip a piece off for myself.

[mark]

ps: my teeth, silly.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:13 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: softball

ah, how true. Gotta be manly at all times. Do you want me to get you some beer in cans so that you can crush them on your forehead? Girls love that, you know.

From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:12 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: softball

Im sure it meets the technical definition of a CFB...but I am a guy, and you never know who may be playing for the other team that I want to impress.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:09 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: softball

yeah great. I can't say that it's my beer of choice, but on a day like this, they're pretty damn good. And I HATE Zima. That stuff is nasty.

From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:06 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: softball

I would have trouble drinking anything with a man's name and the word "hard" in it. And didnt we have this Smirnoffs discussion already? Way too Zima for me. Heck, I hear the people who go to the Surf Club ONLY drink Smirnoffs. I know the people I would have been going with [if I didnt have a warehouse of excuses to use] LOVE Smirnoffs. SOunds like you'd fit in perfectly.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 4:00 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: softball

then I guess I will see you there...
But remember, there will be beverages there. I made sure I put in my order for Mike's Hard Lemonades or Smirnoffs. It's too hot for normal beer. I need the refreshing alcoholic beverages.

From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 3:59 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: softball

You know me too well already, Ms. Monday...I have plans to do just that....

From: [smonday]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 3:43 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: softball

If you're coming to softball, you should come towards the end and join us for the post-game festivities. That's when the fun really begins. I don't think that there has been a week when we haven't gone out, so I think it's safe to say that we will tonight as well.

-----------

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

6.22.01

[READ FROM THE BOTTOM]
-------------

From: [smonday]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 3:40 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: lunch

Um, I know what you're talking about, and no, it's not a place that I like.

The thing in NYC was some kind of little reptile. Personally, I thought it was just a mutated rat. You know how those things are...

Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing on Fri yet, but I know that it will involve sun and CFB's.

From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 3:38 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: lunch

What the heck was the thing in NYC then? A midget with a rash? Gollum? Me after a few too many trips to the Shore? [Speaking of which, I just got some horrible news...While I still might be going, I might be going to Joey's Surf Club. My apologies if that is a place you like]

From: [smonday]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 3:35 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: lunch

Nice, way to come out and support your team. It starts at 6 and is usually over before 8.

As for the thing in NYC, it wasn't a gator. There is, however a gator in upstate NY that they are trying to catch. So there.

From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 3:34 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: lunch

Havent you been reading the Daily News lately?
There's alligators in Central Park, and you can wash down the "only in NYC" excitement with a hotdog from the pleasant neighborhood cart owner.

I basically have the obligation to go to Murray's, nice guy or not, so I will go...tomorrow...that at least will give me an excuse to visit my sister. What time is the SB game? I want to be sure to show up late enough to miss most of it but early enough to enjoy a FB.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 3:04 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: lunch

I'll keep your advice in mind. Yes, this is definitely a pleasure trip. I however think my chances of seeing an alligator are much higher than that of a shark, as I will probably stop to see my family who have been known to spot the occasional gator on the neighbor's lawn sunning itself (they live on a lake that's part of the everglades). I'll let you know if I run into anything.

You know, you really should be a nice guy and stop at Murray's. But I can understand where you're coming from on that one. Softball just may be the key! And it's probably a better time.

From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 3:00 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: lunch

Not a problem. As in "going without you is not a problem." I may stop at the softball game. I have to go to Murray's house I guess for shiva...though Im trying to find a legitimate excuse. Working late [ie, going to see some softball], might be just the ticket.

Your strategy for the obtaining of free goods sounds right up my alley. Im happy for you, though I hope this is a pleasure trip. I will be jealous of your ability to spend hours in the Atlantic Ocean. Let me know if you see a shark. As infintesimal as your chances of being attacked are, they are infintesimally higher in that area, so I would leave the sparkly jewelry and open wounds on shore.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 2:47 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: lunch

I went to Palm Beach on business last year. My flight was overbooked so I gave up my seat and took a later flight and in return, received a $250 voucher for another ticket.

I was very disappointed with the hotel that I stayed at, so I called and whined like a child (yeah, it really wasn't all that bad), and they sent me a certificate for a 3 night stay.

So the moral of the story is...complain, complain, complain. (And take a later flight whenever possible)

I can't go to TS right now because 1. I am stuffed from lunch, and 2. I can't stay late to make up the time because I have that thing called softball tonight that you won't play. You should come out and watch us. It's pretty funny (and you'd get free frosty beverages).

From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 2:43 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: lunch

we have a deal [shake shake]. wanna go now? phones are dead.

I am happy to hear you will be vacationing. Can you explain, in simple terms, the cause of the freeness of your trip? I would like to get involved in free trips whenever possible, so any tricks you may have, please share. I promise not to announce it to ALL PERSONNEL.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 2:20 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: lunch

Yep, I'm taking off on Friday as well and am hoping to do the same.

I did, however, just book my trip to West Palm Baech for late July and I am very excited. The best part is that it's free, with the exception of rental car and food. So if I don't return from that with a tan, you do have my permission to give me a severe beating.

So we have a deal....you tell me when you're going to TS and I'll pick you up something next time I go get food.

Okay?

From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 2:00 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: lunch

No, I would be an even lamer human male than I already am if I invivted myself to lunch with you. But hey, if I gotta scratch your back with TS, then maybe you gotta return the favor by picking me up some lunch next time you go?

Im sure you didnt realize it, either from my lack of email or my still-bleached-white skin tone, but I was at the beach late afternoon yesterday. I was giving some presentations to hospitals that ended around 3, so I hightailed it right to the beach. It was reeeeeeeely, and I want to stress the eeeeeeeeely, great. Nobody there, steady ocean breeze, a CFB, the sun setting, and a whole lotta not being at work. I actually might take Friday and go again, work permitting.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 1:50 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: lunch

wow. Was that some kind of shot that I should have invited you to lunch withe me? If it is then I am very sorry. I will make sure to invite you next time.

But hey, we have a deal about Thomas Sweet. To deny me such good ice cream would be cruel and unusual punishment.

How were your 8 dozen raviolis?
And as to why you are here, only you can answer that one. I have no clue. I'd be at the beach right now with a CFB if I was you.

From: [mark]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 1:46 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: lunch

i assume your lunch was good? I hope so, cause I would reeely feel bad if you went all that way to get a lunch for only yourself, and I stress "ONLY YOURSELF," and it turned out to be a disappointment. Im sure you would feel the same way the next time I go to Thomas Sweet by myself, and I stress "BY MYSELF."

Both of my bosses are not here today. Can you tell me why I am?
[mark]
-----------

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

6.28.01

From: [smonday]
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2001 10:40 AM
To: [mark]
Subject: diappointment

Let me express my great disappointment with you, Mr. Sblendorio. Not only did you miss out on the free booze at the game, you missed your team march to yet another victory. Actually, it's okay because the booze was gone about half-way through the game. But I hope you have a good excuse anyway!

Subject: RE: diappointment
Date: Thu, 28 Jun 2001 11:06:09 -0400
From: [mark]
To: [smonday]

Well, I guess I have no right to make fun of your "diappointment" considering I broke a loose promise to show up.

I do not have a good excuse, though I will try to concoct one right now: On my way to the softball diamond, I remembered that I should not drink on an empty stomach, so I pulled into Wendy's for some fast food [if Wendy's can be called "food" at all]. After ordering my hamburger and fries, I proceeded to the first window, where I paid $4.45 for my order. However, the cashier, likely a college graduate or a struggling actor, misread my $10 bill as a $20, and gave me an additional $10 in change [bringing my "change" total to $15.55,]. Not yet realizing the cashier's error, I proceeded to Window 2 to pick up my, now free, bounty. In what can only be described as sheer coincidence, the other Wendy's employee, likely a Mensa member or Nobel prize-winning physicist, provided not only my requested hamburger and fries, but an unrequested 2nd hamburger and "Frosty" shake.

What was I to do? Boy Scout's honor would have compelled me to return both the excess money and the unordered food. But I was never a Boy Scout, though I did spend three weeks as a Cub Scout with a Cub Master who was later jailed for child molestation [though said molestation did not occur with myself or any other member of my group, to the best of my knowledge, anyway]. And regardless of any moral dilemma a normal person might feel here, I reeeely like Frosty shakes, as you may have already guessed.
The struggle between the angel on one shoulder and the devil on its wings trying to distract it became moot, however, as I was quickly descended upon by flashing lights, screeching sirens, and the handheld digital cameras of the television show "COPS." It appears my timing could not have been worse, as I caught the troop leaving the strip mall's Dunkin Donuts on their way to Trenton for their semi-annual television taping. And while the majority of the story you will read in tomorrow's paper is true, including the fact that Big Bubba did make me his prison bitch for the evening [though who knew the big guy would want to cuddle afterwards], I NEVER, and I repeat, NEVER, gave them YOUR name as an accomplice.

How's that? Much better than the truth, which is that when I left at about 7, I realized I didnt know where you play, and a quick tour of the office did not reveal anyone who knew. I couldnt find that email Phil had sent originally with the directions.

again, I apologize. I looked forward to insulting you in person, and I can only imagine the ammunition I would have gained by watching you play.

[mark]

--------------
what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

7.2.01

[READ FROM THE BOTTOM]

--------------
From: [mark]
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 4:31 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: please

As I cannot respond with anything PG rated, I will take my leave. Have a super night!

From: [smonday]
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 4:00 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: please

ah, true, true

From: [mark]
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 4:00 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: please

who doesnt like to close the evening with a little of that???

From: [smonday]
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 4:00 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: please

probably. They always close with "Nookie"

From: [mark]
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 3:59 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: please

i thought they were ok when i saw them...if Im thinking of the right shore cover band...they did a good "my own worst enemy"

From: [smonday]
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 3:58 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: please

yes they are. But I like them a lot.

From: [mark]
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 3:56 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: please

ever seen them? they wanna be scary, but they reeely arent. they are shore regulars.

From: [smonday]
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 3:54 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: please

Love Lies Bleeding. Sounds scary, doesn't it?

From: [mark]
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 3:54 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: please

nothing wrong with that...Im a groupie myself [i have a crush on the singer I saw saturday night...but she's engaged. boo hoo]. what band?

From: [smonday]
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 3:53 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: please

yeah, well there's a really good band playing there tomorrow night, so we have to go. My friends can be groupies sometimes.

From: [mark]
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 3:52 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: please

Wow...now I reeely feel old. The only time I go to Bar A anymore is when I have a college reunion. Keep the party rockin'

From: [smonday]
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 3:44 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: please

Ah yes, there is nothing quite like a successful weekend. I will be heading to Bar A as well tomorrow night for further festivities.

From: [mark]
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 3:28 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: please

Jeez...BOC? Some Shore things never change. [get it? "shore things?"..."never change."??? ok, shoot me now]

I am almost afraid to document my weekend in writing for you because then either you or the watchful eyes of the non-business-email police will think I am a raging alcoholic. Which is pretty much how I acted all weekend. I bolted from here on Frdiay at about 2, and hit the beach by 3. Some friends from San Fran. were in town for a long weekend, so I met them at a local bar, where we drank like Vikings. I got home as the sun was rising. After a few hours of "sweat out the alcohol" sleep, I went back to the beach for the afternoon. I met my sister and some friends at The Stone Pony that night for a concert, which was root-toot-tootin' fun. I got home at the "early" time of 2 am. Sunday I went to a barbeque [with the same collection of Vikings from Friday night], and, wouldnt you know it, we ended up back at the local bar for Round 2 [actually, it was probably Round 50 by that point]. I didnt even pretend to get out of bed until 9:00 this morning. I am not feeling as fresh as a daisy, I can tell you. I say this alot, but this time I mean it: I am too old for this kind of behavior. And, amazingly, for being at the beach 4 days last weak, I am still Crest-toothpaste white.
sounds like our weekends were successful.

[mark]

From: [smonday]
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 3:04 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: please

I did actually have a good weekend. I did not do too much on Friday, but on Saturday, I went to Jenkinsons and had a few CFB's while listening to the ever so interesting sounds of Big Orange Cone. Around midnight, my friends and I headed back to New Brunswick where we bar-hopped and dank several more CFB's. All in all, a good time, especially since I was with people that I had not seen in ages.

I am sorry that you are having a boring day. Did you not have any excitement this past weekend?

From: [mark]
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 3:00 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: please

save me from the boringest day of my life. did you get to "a praia" on friday? Did you drink one or more CFB's? Anything else of interest happening that I can live vicariously through?

oh well, enough said.
[mark]
--------------
what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

7.10.01

Happy Birthday, Kapes.

From: [map]
Sent: Tuesday, July 10, 2001 9:31 AM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: Sometimes the world just makes sense:

That is a fabulous idea. If that Vitamin C shit made even two cents, whatever you guys come up with should be a big hit. May I offer some suggestions?

1. Include the phrases "I'll always remember the good times we had." and "New friends are like silver, old friends are like gold."

2. Don't hype up college too much -- the truth will make the kids not care about graduation.

3. Include a paragraph from "The Catch" a short story by Mark Sblendorio that has become Nutley's version of OId Man and The Sea.

4. Mention the prom -- it still means something to these kids. (By the time September hits, they won't even remember the name of their date)

5. Possible refrain -- Biology, Chemistry, Doesn't mean that much to me; History, Algebra, I don't really care at all, The thing that will be forever cool, Is the friends I met in high school.

Its sure to be a hit, so I'd like that shiny new gift now please.

--------------

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

7.18.01

So since 10 am, Ive been trying to get information from a company. The question, basically, is "how should the hospital be billing this service?" Seems easy enough. The company I have to call is the Riverbend Government Benefits Administrator [for some reason, a company in Tennessee runs NJ's Medicare program]. Their website cannot be any less helpful, and provides only 2 actual working phone numbers. I try them both. One of them tells me to call the other. The other tells me I cannot get the information from them.

But I persist, recognizing that anyone with the title "customer service representative" is not going to be overly anxious to help lil' ol' me out. I speak to a 2nd CSR who repeats the bad answer. I speak to a 3rd CSR and, hoping to get someone more willing to stray from the party line, ask to speak to the Legal Department. No particular name, just anyone in the Legal Department. RGBA has no specific legal department per se, as each department has a "legal representative." Do I know which department my question concerns? No, so I suggest transferring me to any one at random, just so I can get away from the CSRs.

I receive a name: Kay Tenneman, and a transfer to the same. I do not know her number, but I have a name, how hard could it be to get back to her if I got cut off? Kay Tenneman's voice mail tells me she is out of the office today, and if there is an emergency, call some other number. Expecting the leave-a-message-beep, I dont write down that other number. The beep never comes, and, instead, I am asked to enter a new extension. How 'bout 0 for the operator? I have selected an invalid entry. How 'bout 9 to get around the voice mail system? Please enter the other digits of the extension. I hang up.

After a brief period of doing something more exciting, like slicing the skin between my toes with a dull plastic knife, I try again. I get CSR # 4, and ask to speak to Kay Tenneman, having been cut off in m last attempt. After a long search, there is no such person. I suggest that CSR #4 searches for a Kay, any Kay. There are alot of Kays, apparently, in Tennessee. But Kay Tatum, who is an assistant to some Vice President, is close enough. This time, I get a direct number for Kay Tatum, and off to transferland I go. Transferland, if you've never been, is like Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory, but without the fat children and the tasty treats.

Sure enough, the southern Tennessee accent has confused me, and Kay Tatum is the same person I tried last call. Knowing that she is out, I write down the emergency number, and try that extension. This time, I am greeted by the voice mail of Marsha Something [why take a chance, when Im sure that what I wrote down is not the same as what she, in her Tennessee accent, said]. At least, this time, I get to leave a message.

1 hour on the phone. About $180 worth of attorney time. Add in this 1/2 hour email, and Im up to $270.
--------------

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

7.19.01

[READ FROM THE BOTTOM]

Subject: RE: you missed it Date: Thu, 19 Jul 2001 12:52:38 -0400 From: [mark]
To: [smonday]

One thing I am not is scary. Weird, yes. Scary, no. I understand there can be a fine line there, but I tend to think I fall on the proper side. There is also a fine line between clever and stupid, and THAT is line I cross all the time.

I will not like when you are away. My main email distraction will be gone, and I will be forced...FORCED...to complete some work assignments. I dont like to be forced into anything [unless by a women whose name starts with "Mistress," but thats another story] But cmon, FLORIDA or BON JOVI??? Its not even a fair fight. Florida: 50% humidity heightening the old person smell. Bon Jovi: 50,000 sweat bodies with hair heightened by Aqua Net. Florida: Out-of-work teenagers dressing up in lame animal costumes at Disneyworld. Bon Jovi: Out-of-work thirtysomethings dressing up in lame animal prints bought at Merry Go Round. FLorida: You. Bon Jovi: Me. I mean...this is a romp! To paraphrase: A shot to the heart, and you're so lame!

99 in the shade...
[mark]

From: [smonday]
Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2001 12:33 PM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: you missed it

Well this is actually a good thing to hear, because I was definitely starting to get scared by you. I mean, come on, putting stuff on the floor in your mouth?

You may have 9 days till bon, jon, but I have a mere 5 days till I get on a plane and fly to sunny Florida, so ha!

As for the party at your place, be careful what you say because you may get held to it. Yes, we do need to improve the coolness ratio. The first happy hour was a good time, so I'm thinking the next one at PolyEsthers will be as well.

From: [mark]
Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2001 12:29 PM
To: [smonday]
Subject: RE: you missed it

You obviously dont know me well enough, cause the longer my story, the less likely it actually happened. That story is one hundred and ten percent fake. Well, kinda. Here...I've highlighted the falsities below:

anyway, you did miss it. your early departure
prevented you from partaking in the after-game festivities. You didnt think that I was gunna let the evening end so quietly, did you? At the start of the eighth inning, I ran into someone I went to college with in the bathroom [FALSE. I peed normally, looking down and not making any eye contact with fellow pee-ers]. So, after the game was over, or possibly during the game, since I didnt reeely watch any of it, we went to kat-man-du for some drinks and ogling of college age women [FALSE. I got in the car with Steve and drove him back here. I did actually call a friend who lives by the Bennigans on Rt. 1 and we met for two drinks]. Now, I was only there with this one kid and some of his friends [Steve having left], so the place was filled with people I didnt know and, from the looks of them, wouldnt reeely like. So we standing there by ourselves, looking like the dirty old guys we are, and off the side of us, these kids were dividing up some tabs of ecstasy [KINDA FALSE. This actually happened to me at a house party in college, and it was acid tabs, not ecstasy]. The guy closest to me, a card-carrying, dues-paying, backward-cap-wearing Frat Boy, took his tab on his palm and raised it to his mouth. At the last moment, he unintentionally exhaled, and the little tab fluttered to the floor, unnoticed by anyone but me. He continued to try and pop the now missing pill into his mouth, unaware of its escape. As for the tab, I made an impulsive decision and stepped forward on some pretense of stretching my legs, covering it with my sneaker. A moment later, as the Frat Boy was savoring [or perhaps searching for] the nonexistent pill in his mouth, I bent down and fiddled with my shoelaces, finally reaching under and picking the tab. A moment later, when I covered my mouth to pretend cough, I placed it on my tongue and swallowed it down with a swig. [FALSE. I dont care what kind of super drug it was or how drunk I was, I would never take anything of a floor and put it in my mouth]. The rest of the night was spent faking that I wasnt having a trip, while the Frat Boy spent his imaging he was. I periodically made my way over to him and listened as he and his friends marveled at the strength and purity of the e. I passed off any unusual behovir or mannerisms on my part by mentioning that I wasnt feeling quite right, having not eaten anything except the ballpark food, and by now having had a number of beers [FALSE. Im just trying to complete the story here]. I did however, dance up a storm after that, told at least one girl that I loved her, and ended up crashing on the kids' couch [KINDA FALSE. This has all happened multiple times, but not last night].

We do, however, have to work harder on improving the coolness ratios at these events. Maybe a ball game was not the best location, as the beer could not quite flow freely enough to get people reeely talking. Next time, the party is at my place, so people can drink. Well, at least I can.

9 days til bon jon...
[mark]

From: [smonday]
Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2001 11:55 AM
To: [mark]
Subject: RE: you missed it

Wow, you are a rebel, aren't you?

Now that is something that I definitely would have paid to see last night - both you tripping and the Frat boy faking his.

I'm amazed that you made it back in to work this morning.....good job!

I, however, went home and did nothing. I'm not sure if Jordan came back here or not, but you should definitely buy him a cfb for getting that conference up.

From: Sblendorio, Mark A.
Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2001 11:33 AM
To: [smonday]
Subject: you missed it

first of all, jordan is the man. did he have to stay here last night? and he got that funky conference running this morning...he deserves a CFB!

and what did YOU do?
[mark]

--------------

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]

7.20.01

[READ FROM THE BOTTOM]
--------------
Subject: RE: why do i
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 11:17:35 -0400
From: [mark]
To: [smonday]

Ooooh...thank you for including me in the cool RS group. Let me tell you a story [and unlike yesterday, this one is completely true]. When I was in 11th grade, I was one of those people with an early enough birthday date to get my license as a junior. Plus, due to some unfortunate [for her] college incidents, my sister was prohibited, by a combination of state and family law, from driving her brand new Nissan 240sx. So, Young But Cool Mark, with the brand new license, got to drive this PHAT new car. As you can imagine, I was very popular for those few months [well, more popular than normal of course], and I often got asked to take people to lunch who did not have access such wheels. But I had a group of people with whom I regularly took to Rutt's Hut for lunch, and, it being a 2+2 car, didnt have a lot of extra space, so I routinely rejected such requests. This, of course, only increased the desire of people to hang with me at lunch, and my popularity continued to rise [Its been on the decline ever since]. One day, I had an extra seat, so I agreed to take along a kid who, while not necessarily popular, had great taste in music. I guess it was my attempt to alert these other people to his under-the-surface Coolness. But he was, reeely, a dork, and if you think *I* dress poorly... So, I ask him along, and while standing in line at Rutt's for our daily "frenchy gravy", we began discussing the weekend's activities, which happen to include the "annual" party at this rich kid's house who techinically lived in nutley, but was away trying to be an actor [aside-- all I remember him doing is having some small, one-line role in "Big." I also remember him hooking up with a girl I was dating. Rich Prick. That was his name. Ok, thats a lie.]. This was, not surprising, a BIG party with ALL the cool people, and one that the Dork would never even consider being invited to. But he's standing there, and you kinda feel bad that the entire lunch discussion revolves around this Party, so you invite him along, saying that he'll be welcome and he'll have a great time. He wants to go so bad, but he knows that he'll be super uncomfortable, as he continually thinks, "they are all wondering why I am here..." By the end of the night, he will have either (1) come out of his shell and impressed a group of them [think: Say Anything] or (2) gone completely off the deep end and ended up with a lamp shade on his head [think: Sixteen Candles]

Its good to see that I have no been transformed into the role of the Dork in this game of Life. The difference however, is that I *would* go based on such a pity invite, and I wouldnt give a hoot whether the people looked at me that way.

The moral of this story? I have no clue. But regardless, I fear you'll have to get your fill of my Coolness from a, say, 2 pm, trip to TS. I have to get down to Phily tonight for dinner, CFBs, and general mayhem, so I am out of here at 5 pm sharp.

never turn your back on a monster.
[mark]

ps: I reeely dont feel like the Dork...it just reminded me of the story. next time you have one of these little CFB fests, I would love to go.

-----Original Message-----
From: Monday, Susan K.
Sent: Friday, July 20, 2001 10:56 AM
To: Sblendorio, Mark A.
Subject: RE: why do i

ooh, I may have to participate in the TSing.

Yes, I saw Tad's shirt, and though ugly, at least he's participating. Let me know when you're going.

Also, in case you have not already heard, there is a trip to Kat Man Du planned for tonight if you are interested in partaking of some CFB's with a bunch of "cool" RS people.

-----Original Message-----
From: Sblendorio, Mark A.
Sent: Friday, July 20, 2001 10:41 AM
To: Monday, Susan K.
Subject: RE: why do i

I also saw Tad had a shirt on, which is kinda "You-Aint-Got-No-Alibi-UGLY," but at least he's trying]. And mine isnt even hawaiian...its more 1950s Rat Pack...

Anyway, I will almost surely be TSing this afternoon if you become interested.

yelling with my mouth shut...
[mark]

-----Original Message-----
From: Monday, Susan K.
Sent: Friday, July 20, 2001 10:33 AM
To: Sblendorio, Mark A.
Subject: RE: why do i

NO, you are not the only one in Hawaiian garb. I don't own much of the stuff, so I have a shirt with pseudo-hawaiian flowers on it. Nan, David Gordon, Judy, Trudi, and Jordan at least have their garb on. As for the rest of the office......they're just not cool enough I guess.

-----Original Message-----
From: Sblendorio, Mark A.
Sent: Friday, July 20, 2001 10:28 AM
To: Monday, Susan K.
Subject: why do i

get the feeling im the only one in somewhat hawaiian garb?

--------------

what you want most will elude you
'cause everything, before it changes, seems to be made of gold
--made of gold [jonatha brooke]